The Demons

After my first direct experience of who I really am, I had a life-transforming dream in which I was asked to be in a garden fashion show. I was given one important instruction: “You will walk through a garden and then you will reach a Black woman sitting at a table, and she will tell you to turn left.” This seemed quite clear, so I began my work in a joyous state of mind. The garden was beautiful, sunny and uplifting, with many exquisite fragrances. I felt vibrant, alive and attractive in my lovely clothes. I continued feeling this way until I reached the black woman at the table, which was barren, with no decoration at all. She gave me a severe look and pointed to my left. I felt disturbed but I was ready for anything. I started walking to the left and found myself in a dreary, misty, grey area, devoid of any colour. As I looked closer, I saw that a steely grey barbed-wire fence defined the path. I began to feel fear and discomfort. Everything felt dead as it crunched beneath my feet. I really wanted out of there; this place was beginning to terrify me. An icy chill ran up and down my spine. I knew I had to do my job, so I kept going, but my fear increased and I started to sweat in my lovely dress. I felt even more contracted, since the clothes did not belong to me.

Picking up the pace, I finally reached the end of the path. As I turned to go back, everything that had previously crunched under nmy feet became demons that looked slimy green evil. They had hatred in their eyes as they tried to tear at my face; I felt as thought they were going to kill me. By now, I was beyond terror. I didn’t know what to do or where to go so I kept walking. Then, a loud commanding voice inside of me said, “If you give those demons power for even an instant, they will kill you. They are not real. They are only illusions” The demons came closer. “You can’t hurt me. You are not real.” As I said this, they softened and then dissolved into thin air. My only power was to see them as unreal and harmless and to keep going.

Finally, soaked with sweat, I reached the entrance to the garden again. I stepped into the lush green beauty, but everyone, including the black woman, had disappeared. As if I had just left a battlefield, I fell on the ground exhausted. As I lay there, a tremendous peace, strength and sense of maturity welled up inside of me, making me feel ancient.

This dream has been a great life teaching. As well as an omen, it was a gift to guide me through the journey I was about to undertake. As I entered the deep darkness of my life, many demons presented themselves, and I have not always been as adept at recognizing them as I was in my dream. Sometimes I have been immersed in some of the dark thought forms, emotions and mental states and have suffered as a consequence. The demons have come in many forms – illness, grief, others’ disapproval, projections, guilt, fear, doubt, and abandonment… Whenever I haven’t listened to my inner knowing and have become caught in the outer play of appearances, the demons, which feed on fear-based beliefs in separation, arrive and I then suffer. Like opening Pandora’s box, if I make the unreal more important than the real, (Right Evidence All Love) I am drawn into a whirlpool of demons.

I have come to realize that the demons are really here to show us where we need to be strengthened. From this powerful, archetypal, I have discovered that instead of running away, resisting or fighting the demons I need to face them and examine the gifts that they offer. Everything in our lives, including the demons has but one purpose: to free us from the separation and to open the door to our true home, which is ete
al.