One Habit At A Time: Don't Be A Rebel With Too Many Causes

Mildred: "What're you rebelling against, Johnny?"

Johnny: "Whaddya got?"nn- The Wild One (1954)nn****

Ah, the impetuousness of youth. You can take on the whole world and everyone thinks you’re perfectly normal. You're just going through a 'wild phase.' Not so for us adults. We’re serious. No foolin around. We know what’s what.

But seriously, if Johnny were into habit change, a talk with me would be in order. Otherwise, he would rebel against all of his bad habits in some mistaken orgy of self-improvement. For the sake of all that is good and true, Johnny, don't do it! Don't be a rebel with too many causes.

And so we have An Important Habit Change Tip: Change One Bad Habit at a Timenn“Yes, yes,” you say, “That’s so obvious. Can I have a PhD now too?”

Ummm . . . no.

And if it were so simple, maybe a lot more bad habits would disappear. But people get carried away. Even responsible adults. It’s just human nature. Picture it:

It’s New Year’s Eve. It’s early, so people can still walk and talk and such. The pleasantly plump woman sitting beside you resolves to exercise more. The man with the yellow-stained fingers vows never to smoke again. “Me too,” you think, “time to shake things up.” You make a resolution. “That’s it,” you say to yourself, “no more TV reruns when I get home from work everyday.”

You feel inspired. “Why, if I can swear off early evening TV,” you babble inwardly, “maybe I can stop biting my nails.” You’re overjoyed. “I’ll be A BRAND NEW ME.”

Come into my office and take a chair. We need to chat: You need to make a decision. What do you want to change more? Are you tired of feeling guilty after being slumped on the couch for two hours? Or are you more fed up with hiding your fingers in shame at social gatherings?

You have to choose!

Why am I so insistent? Why must you choose?

It’s because I know why habits exist: Habits get us through life in this crazy mixed-up world. We'd be lost without them. We don’t have to burn a lot of mental energy when a habit controls our behavior. For instance, how much thought does it take to walk over to the couch and find a sitcom?

When you stop yourself from watching T.V. you won’t be having any fun. You will have to think and plan. That takes precious mental energy. “What am I going to do with the time?” you ask yourself, “How will I decompress? Maybe I should watch just one show . . .”

You see? You’re going to have enough on your plate. Now is not the time to stop chewing on the ends of your fingers.

So, pick a habit, one habit, and get to it!nn****

Mildred: "What're you gonna change, Johnny?"

Johnny: "How about less early evening television?”nn- The Steadily Improving One (2007, unproduced)