Owning & Allowing Our Feelings ...

"Owning" our feelings is a huge learning curve in our personal evolution & for the evolution of man.
In the past many of us have bee
"taught" to cut off from our feelings with interjects such as "Big boys, don't cry." ... "Stiff upper lip." ... & "Pull yourself together!"
No wonder we find it so hard to express ourselves, when to "feel" in our most needy times as children has either not bee
"acceptable" behavior or not met with empathy or compassion from a trusted other.

"Owning" our feelings is a huge step in self empowerment.
To recognize a feeling caused by a reaction & to acknowledge that it is "ours" - meaning no other can MAKE you feel a feeling - it is simply a response/reaction based on an old hurt/pattern.
This can take a while to "grab" hold off, especially when society is so used to apportioning blame. This is of course because the "search" has been for so long focused on the exte
al world. Another reason is that is is easier to blame another ... "he makes me feel..." "she makes me feel ..." - because then we do not have to take responsibility for our feelings, our reactions or our own growth.
This is terribly dis-empowering behavior, we become "victims."

With awareness "owning" our feelings becomes as natural as the yellow sun is to the blue sky. Blame is no longer projected but instead we learn to withdraw into ourselves & observe why we are having this feeling, this reaction.

Which brings me now to what I have been asked to speak of today & that is "allowing" our feelings.

After choosing to own the feeling, saying "Ok - I AM angry" rather tha
"you MAKE me angry" - we need to "allow" our anger, bitte
ess, rejection, shame, unworthiness ...

Again we have been taught to "brush" feelings under the carpet. This is not healthy & most certainly a form of denial. Denial begins to feel like wearing a mask, terribly uncomfortable as it is not truth, a whirlwind of emotions running "amok" inside while outside saying to the world & all it's spectators "I'm, fine." In extreme cases we can feel completely "numb" ... so "cut off" from our feelings we simply cannot feel any more.

So after the "ownership" of "I AM ..." - we allow ourselves to feel it. Not just a little but a huge, whooping 100%.

I have recently experienced such wonderful moments of healing & enlightenment through this practice. How I "see", hear, feel, "am" feels ... fresh, lighter - new.

In meditatio
I have sat with the Angels "allowing" my feeling as guided. The "feeling" builds to all it's intensity as I "hold" it - at times unbearable but not as unbearable in all honesty than storing it for another time, day or even year for I know then I will be "stuck" in a time that is no longer here but there... then just as I feel I can take no more, it reaches it's peak ... I begin to "fall" through it, down & down to discover beyond the anger, bitte
ess, rejection, hurt ... I am always ...Love.

I will not declare to you that this is an easy practice. Some "feelings" have taken a couple of days of meditation to move through, patiently & little by little reaching the depths of the murky waters BUT always, always I am greeted with love.

Paul Ferrini guides us to say "I remember I am love but right now I don't feel it. Please help me feel love"

Your prayer is answered, it may hurt while the "pain" reaches up & out - yet the bliss as the pain is finally acknowledged, understood,accepted, released & replaced with the compassion we were in search of & the love.

We simply cannot feel the magnificent "essence" of love that we are - or joy - or peace - or bliss - while we deny our pain.
To allow our feelings to surface while remembering that actually - we are loved & we are love is one of the most precious ingredients of healing & enlightenment I have been blessed to learn.

To know it is "ok" to have & express ALL feelings, to know it is "ok" to have reactions, releases denial ... & in that knowledge grows empowerment & awareness ... & in that awareness magical secrets of your soul are revealed, for it is your soul that feels. You understand why, how, when ... nall the answers lie within you.

You simply need to FEEL. nn