Part 2: What I Learnt From Failing Four Years of University

After a devastating four years of failing almost every subject at university, there are four important lessons I've learnt from the experience.

Experiencing your own "failure"? Here's my advice:

1. When you're in deep trouble, stop digging

After my first disastrous year, I should have acknowledged the problem and taken a different path - changed my degree subject or taken a year out. But I kept thinking that things would get better without changing my behaviour. I was embarrassed to admit defeat, but I made it much worse in the long run.

It's okay to change your mind if something isn't working for you, but don't prolong your misery as long as I did. How much time, energy and money do you want to waste?

2. Reach out and find help, fast

When it was clear that I was struggling, I should have sought help. As it was, I didn't even see the university guidance counsellor until my third year. For some reason, I was waiting for someone official to say "Hey, is everything okay?" or even for the university to take action and kick me out.

You might be good at hiding a failure from family or friends, but there are plenty of discreet ways to reach out to let someone know that you're in trouble. Most universities and corporate work places have confidential and free help services, or you could talk to an organisation like The Samaritans. Sometimes a friendly (and neutral) voice can help you break through and interrupt a potentially larger problem.

3. Uncover some of the causes (even the really tiny ones)

There was not just one cause of my colossal failure, rather than a lot of little things. For example, I found out I needed glasses, I had undiagnosed glandular fever and the room I was living in didn't have any study space. All of these could have been fixed and could have improved my situation.

You could start by listing everything that is contributing to a problem in your life (nothing is too small) and then you can try and tackle one at a time so you don't feel overwhelmed. It may not fix the problem all together but you will feel more in control.

Hiring a life coach is also a great way to take responsibility and to come up with solutions together to work your way out of a potential disaster.

4. A fail doesn't make you a failure

Despite my HUGE fail, you might be surprised to find that I don't consider myself a failure at all. Quite the opposite, I consider myself a successful person, albeit one with an interesting blip in my track record.

So, instead of a blanket excuse like "I'm just a failure", (which is pretty unsolvable) you have to look at the bigger picture.

And of course, you can't give up. I did finally get a degree, from a different university but I'll never forget the lessons from that experience.

What's your biggest "failure"? What have you learnt from your mistakes? I'd love to hear from you in the comments below.

If you need help moving forward, book a life coaching session with me.