Paying the Price of the 3 R's

onto, aren’t they? Can you identify areas in your life where these have reared their ugly head? What exactly is this pattern and how does it affect your life?

Resentment

When you become resentful of another person, it’s like drinking poison and waiting for it to kill your enemy. Doesn’t make much sense, does it! Yet every time you allow feelings of resentment or jealousy to dictate your actions that’s exactly what you’re doing. Instead of using open, honest communication you jump to conclusions and get angry. This can build on itself and cause you to step into a downward spiral of negative emotions.

Resistance

The next step in the downward spiral is resistance, which means cutting off communications or putting up a wall. Life doesn’t look the way you want it to, so you are going to fight against anything and everything that you perceive as standing in your way. That in itself is toxic enough and can send you farther down into negative actions.

Revenge

The all-mighty act of getting even. If you perceive yourself as being hurt, you lash out to hurt someone who you think caused this. Who is this really hurting? Who comes out of this as a “winner?”

Results

I hear all those excuses coming up. All the justifications of why you are “right” in being this way. Stay with me for a bit. Let’s explore some thoughts that may shed a little light on the subject. Are you open to this?
Is there really anything good that comes from being this way? Is there anything positive that comes from being angry or holding a grudge? How does this affect your personal and business relationships? Do people trust you?

Questions to ask yourself…

As you go through these questions, think about how these actions really affect you. Is this a healthy way to live?
• Who are you in resistance with? List the prices you are paying – be specific.
• What events in your life are you resisting? List the prices you are paying – be specific.
• What about your business or job are you resisting? List the prices you are paying – be specific.
• Who are you attempting to get even with? How are you doing it? List the prices you are paying – be specific.

Does this shed a different light on the 3 R’s? Not only are you potentially hurting another with your poisonous actions, it also takes a toll on you – both emotionally and physically. All those pent up feelings boil over and harm everyone around you. There is no room left for growth and learning when you allow grievances to hold you stuck in the past.

Moving Forward

Many times, you may get caught up in this without realizing the time bomb you started. There is a solution, a very simple solution at that!

Awareness of your thoughts and actions. As simple as that! Recognizing the signs of the 3 R’s is the place to start. As soon as you realize feelings of resentment are showing up, stop and evaluate the circumstances. Was this really done in the spirit of harming you? Was it really “all about you” of does this stem from your feelings of jealousy or unworthiness?

Be calm enough to approach the topic with the person you feel resentment for. Use open, honest, non-accusing terms to explain how their actions affected you. Talk it out. Be respectful of their feelings too. You may discover that they were not even aware of the impact they had on you.

The key point here is how you deal with it. That’s what matters. Remember, you are in control of your life and your feelings. You have the choice of what you focus on. Empower yourself each and every day to live without the 3 R’s dictating your course of action.