Personal Attraction: Have You Got It... Or Not?

More importantly, why do you need it, and how can you get it?

Now I'm not talking here about how pretty you look in the mirror, although obviously appearance does play a part in your interaction with other people. Thing is, you need to understand that you can't reasonably hope to succeed in any aspect of your life without some degree of personal attraction.

If you find yourself constantly struggling through life, and nothing ever seems to "go right" for you, it can create a constant stream of negative thoughts and feelings that gradually gnaw away at you and affect your personality, quite often without you realizing it. This also affects how other people "see" you and interact with you.

For example, do you get invited to many parties, or out for drinks with "friends" etc? If you find your circle of friends or your work mates treat you indifferently, it may just be that you appear "negative" to them. Surprise, surprise, "positive people" are invariably viewed sub-consciously as personally attractive!

Contrary to common belief, personal attraction is not just limited to the "beautiful people" you see every day on the TV and magazines. It has just as much to do with personality, attitude, and crucially, your opinion of YOU.

You see, if you don't like you, why should anyone else?

If you see yourself in this situation, you may be thinking "Yeah, well, even if I tried to do something, someone would screw it up." Well, you just did! and that's the problem... you've defeated you before you started.

So, what now?

Get a pad and pen, and write down a list of your strengths, and then in a separate column, a list of your weaknesses (be honest).

If you find your "Strengths" list is shorter than your "Weaknesses" list... think harder, you're not being fair to yourself, i.e. think about what you CAN do, not what you can't!

Ok, that should look better now... So now look at your comparatively "small" list of weaknesses, and cross out any that would be IMPOSSIBLE for you to change (nothing short of a permanent medical condition counts!). Now, what have you got left that YOU CAN CHANGE?

Virtually all of them I guess, which would mean your "strengths" far outweigh your "weaknesses", and perhaps you are a much better person than you thought you were!

You might ask "How does that help with my cr***y life? The answer is, once you start believing in yourself, others will follow... having a positive attitude is only the start of personal attraction, but it's a good start. You also have to show friendship to people, appear confident (not arrogant), and you will find people respond more favourably, at work as well as your social circle.

Some people have to work hard to achieve a good level of personal attraction, to others it comes naturally (life's just like that), but it's well worth the effort. Try it!

You can find more self help articles and solutions at http://www.needtofind.org