Wounded America: Action Steps for Caregivers

Before you reach out to help others, please look to your own emotional condition. No one is immune to the pain and horror of terrorist attacks.The people around you may be suffering and needing help. Yet, you also have experienced an emotional trauma.

Consider these suggestions for preparing yourself to help others.

1. Do some breathing exercises regularly to allow oxygen to nourish your blood and to remind yourself that you are alive and functioning.

2. Give yourself permission to allow and welcome your feelings to unfold and watch them.

3. Let yourself weep or rage or sigh or tremble and be aware of what you are feeling.

4. Describe on paper what you believe has sustained you through past crises in your life.

5. Describe on paper what you believe will sustain you now.

6. Put these personally sustaining practices into effect as much as possible:
Some examples might be:
Drinking a cup of tea
PrayingnMeditatingnWalking
Watering your garden or flower pots
Talking with friends and family
Taking a hot soapy bath or shower
Ironing
Listening to music or playing an instrument
Writing letters
Reading what inspires you
Drawing or painting
Playing a physical sport alone or with others

7. Regardless of your appetite and sense of body during this crisis, be purposeful and attentive to your needs. Drink water throughout the day. Eat three nourishing meals a day. Keep up your regular hygiene practices including bathing, brushing teeth, washing hair and wearing clean clothes.

8. Contact five people you care about and let them know you want to share a few moments with them during these hard times. Listen to their experiences and tell them yours. Let them know you care about them.

9. Take walks or otherwise give yourself some physical exercise that takes you out into the day and away from television and radio news.

10. Put something lovely in your line of vision: a plant, a pretty stone, a picture.

Before your mind and emotions are freed to think creatively with empathy and compassion for others, you must give yourself a stable and caring base. Then you will be able to offer maximally effective support to others.

References:

Ainsworth M.D.S., (1985). Attachments across the lifespan. Bulletin of the New York Academy of Medicine, 61, 792-812.

Bretherton, I. (1994). The Origins of Attachment Theory: John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth. In R. Parke, P. Ornstein, J. Reiser, & C. Zahn-Waxler (Eds.) 1994. A Century of Developmental Psychology. (Chapter 15, pp. 431-471).

Kohut, Heinz (1977). The Restoration of the Self. International Universities Press. New York, New York. nnvan der Kolk, Bessel A. (1987) Psychological Trauma. American Psychiatric Press, Washington, D.C. nnn