"Expats Living in Spain: Coping With Home Sickness"

by Debbie Jenkins author of 'Going Native in Murcia'
No matter how well thought out your move to Spain may havenbeen, there may be times when you feel a touch of homensickness. You may miss your old friends or the speed atnwhich your post arrives, the theatres and shows or thenreliable electricity supply.

You may even miss the cold drizzle on a Monday morning andnthe warmth of a good curry on a Friday night. Home sicknessnfeelings don't usually last for too long and often onlynstrike when you're feeling low.

Having a good strategy in place to ward them off and dealnwith them if they do strike will keep you from feeling blue.

Wisdom has it that there are three common stages ofnhomesickness:

1. Exaltation - Everything is so new, fresh andnexciting. You're living in what amounts to an entirely newnworld and every day is an adventure. This is kind of likenthe natural high that occurs to holidaymakers. It usuallynlasts for several weeks, or even several months in certainncases; but unlike the tourists, you're not going back homenafter soaking in a few days' worth of cultural sightseeing.

2. Frustration - Every high has to end sometime and usuallynit comes down with a bump. What am I doing here instead ofngoing back home where I belong? I miss my friends andnfamily. I miss wandering round my hometown and readingnthe local paper.

3. Acceptance - Well, things aren't perfect here, but thingsnaren't perfect anywhere. By this stage you've learned tonsettle in and accept this society and your role here as itnis. It begins to feel like home sometimes. You start to makena few friends among the locals, learn the language a bit andnadapt to the customs and social norms.

Here are some tips to help speed up the process of becomingna happy native:

Talk About Itn-------------
Don't think you're the only person feeling sad. Yournpartner or neighbours may also get the blues occasionallyntoo. Sharing your feelings will help, and you may be able toncome up with ways to reduce them in the future.

Keep In Touchn-------------
Having a good connection with old friends and familynenables you to keep informed about their lives and will alsonremind you of what you've got now.

Phone - make sure you get a good international cheap callnsupplier and call home as often as your friends and family ncan put up with you.

Snail Mail - the post in Spain is even slower than i

Britain and can sometimes be quite erratic. Don't feel toonheart broken if you think everyone has missed your birthdayn- the hundreds of cards may just be enroute or mislaid!

Email - an infinitely more sensible and potentially morenreliable solution to keeping in touch with friends and family.
You also reduce the risk of becoming a pest as your loved nones can respond in their own time. This solution requires neither a mobile phone device with email capability or
Internet connection.

Blog - Keeping a "web log" (online journal) of yournadventures in your new home gives you an outlet to sharenyour experiences and also enables your family and friends toncheck in on you to see how you're doing. There are many easynand free ways to set up a blog including keeping a diaryn(with the best one each year being published) atnwww.nativespain.com

Find People Like Youn---------------------
Get in touch with other expats through online forums ornsocial events. You can find other expats, chat and makencontact at http://www.nativespain.com

Think Positiven--------------
Make a list of all the reasons you came to Spain in thenfirst place - make the list long and elaborate, with all thenreasons why you left your home country and all the reasonsnwhy you chose Spain.

Really make an effort with this - include all your feelingsnand thoughts, no matter how mad they might seem to someonenelse. Then the next time you're feeling down, review yournlist.

Get Involved in Your New Culturen--------------------------------
One of the fastest and most long lasting ways to beat thenhomesickness blues is to make Murcia your home. Get involvednin the culture, the day-to-day living, the fun and fiestas.

Make friends in the ferretería and the fish shop. Gossipnwith the gas man and girls in the sausage shop. It can bentempting to only mix with other expats, especially if you'renliving on a housing estate. This could be a mistake. Manynexpats on the estates are only there sporadically, andnseeing them go "home" may make you feel worse. Ensure you get angood grounding in the real Spain. Finally, if you're stillnfeeling unhappy, then you may need to make the decision tonreturn home. Don't feel bad about this - you wouldn't havenknown if you didn't give it a go!nn~~~~~~~~~~~
Debbie Jenkins is the co-author of "Going Native in Murcia"nand founder of http://www.NativeSpain.com a collaborativenonline guide to spain written by expats for expats.n~~~~~~~~~~~

ENDSnWORDCOUNT 865

NOTES FOR EDITORSn=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Photogrpahsn-------------------
Photographs of Debbie Jenkins, cover artwork or Spainnavailable on request: mailto:press@nativespain.com

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Interview Debbie Jenkinsn------------------------
If you'd like to interview Debbie to share advice, tipsnand expert opinion with your audience/readership thennemail... mailto:author@bookshaker.comn