Driving Together

Driving Together

This is a story of a man and a woman who lived side by side and each day the two would drive to work in the man’s car. It is a story that tells of the importance of setting personal boundaries. What intrigued me is the creative way the man handled his problem…particularly since the woman was his neighbor.

His Story

The man would get ready in his house. He would get himself spiffed up to face the day and then get in his car to go to work. Being a morning person, by the time he turned the key, he was in fine form, raring to go and ready to face the day. The woman was always on time and ready too. However in her case, it was a readiness to complain. Nothing in her life was ever right whether it was the cat, the kids or the canary. There was just a litany of complaints about everything and everybody that came in her path. For the man, this proved to be quite the downer. By the time he got to work each day, he felt he had been run over by a steamroller. It went on like this for many months and finally one day the man had had enough.

The following morning, he got up as usual, got ready with great enthusiasm an, with some inner trepidation he went out and started the car. When the woman approached the car he leaned over, locked the door and rolled the window down slightly. ‘Here’s what we are going to do ‘he said. ‘Each of us will tell our troubles for half the ride. Since it’s my car, every day I will get to tell mine first’. He unlocked and opened the door and the woman quietly got in the car. As the man had hoped, she never darkened their drive with her troubles again…and they were able to maintain a pleasant relationship.

The Wisdom

We need to be aware that boundaries are important and know how and when to set them. To become aware when someone is pulling us down or invading our space or making subtle demands on us… without our permission… is critical for living harmoniously with others. The real gift is how to come to a way of handling such situations so that our needs are addressed, others can become conscious of their actions and neither party is diminished in the process.