Relationships & Marriage – Commitment Has Nothing to do With Unconditional Love

Recently someone told us that he wants to marry and grownold with his girlfriend. But to his disappointment, she toldnhim that true love is unconditional, without expectations,nand that he should be happy just to be with her withoutnany promises. He said that he thinks she really doesn’tnlove him because she won’t enter a legal, committed,nmonogamous relationship.

He wants a “permanent” commitment, and his girlfriendnwants no conditions and expectations.

True, unconditional love includes no expectations. Nonexpectations of your mate to be who you want themnto be. No expectations of the relationship lasting “forever.”
No expectations of ownership. No expectations if you twongrow apart. No expectations if one of you loses interest innsex.

We agree with his girlfriend. Unconditional love, whichnis the highest form of love, involves loving someone asnthey are and wanting nothing in return for that love. Notnmoney. Not exclusivity. Not a contract. Nothing.

If he were fully without demands and expectations andnapproached his girlfriend in this way, he would want what’snbest for her, not just what he desires.

Granted, we need to look at this from his perspectiventoo. What is he afraid of if he doesn’t have a permanentncommitment from his girlfriend? Is he conce
ed aboutnlosing her, maybe about being alone? Is he worried aboutnfinances or perhaps about who will care for him in old age?

He needs to realize that he’ll be okay if the relationshipndoesn’t last forever and that the only true, lasting love isnself love.

Copyright © 2007 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo