Relationships: Why Your Relationship Sucks - and What You Can Do To Fix It

Imagine the most complicated piece of technology you can think of. Maybe you're thinking of a computer or some advanced weapons or medical technology, or something along those lines. Now imagine that I told you to fix one of those things you're imagining - without tools or instruction. You'd be lost. Now consider that, no matter what your high-tech example was, the most complicated technology available to humans is humans; and making them interact harmoniously requires thought, effort, and communication.

But how much time and effort do you put into your relationship? We know you put in about eight-hours working on your sleep, and another eight-hours - or more - working for money; and that only leaves eight-hours, or less, to do everything else - eating, commuting, personal hygiene, entertainment, exercise (if any..), chores, etc... How much time does the average person spend on their relationship each day? The average person spends little to no time thinking about, or working on, their relationship; and, when they do think and talk about their relationships, it is typically negative - which is exactly why the average relationship sucks.

In the United States, over one-half of all relationships end in divorce; and, if you know any married people, you'll understand why the divorced people are often the happier of the bunch. Way too many people stay married because they think they have to, or are afraid not to; but they don't do anything to improve their situations - sometimes out of pride, sometimes out of fear, and sometimes out of ignorance. You don't have to be unhappily married; you don't have to be unhappy in any relationship - if you understand a couple simple things: Thinking positively about the future of your relationship; and, Communicating effectively with your partner.

First of all, in order to have a great relationship, you've got to one a great relationship; which means thinking of your relationships in the best possible way and the most positive terms you can think of - no matter what kind of relationship you think you currently have. The current state of your current relationship is the result of ignorance, apathy, or inexperience; don't dwell on the way things are - or they'll stay that way! What do you want? What do you want from your relationship, or your partner? Do they know what you want? Do they want the same thing?

In order to get anything, you must think about it; in order for two people to arrive at the same place, they must be heading in the same direction, or have the same goals. Football teams, baseball teams, research and development teams, sales teams, boards of directors, and anyone else hoping to reach a particular goal, practice, rehearse, meet, and plan for what they want. Ancient wisdom tells us, "As a man thinketh, so it is done unto him;" if we aren't thinking about what we want, we're thinking about something else -- and what we think about sets the tone for what we receive. If you've got relationship complaints, for instance, it is time for a completely new approach. Let go of those old complaints and start painting yourself a new, happier picture of your relationship.

Communicate your desires; ask your partner about theirs. Then, arrive at a common goal and a set of common plans and preferences; this will get you moving in a positive direction. Once you are moving forward, you will have the opportunity to deal with obstacles from at least two different perspectives; the key to negotiating these obstacles successfully is to maintain the focus on your goals while maintaining open communication. When you take the time to understand that both you and your partner come from different places, have different experience and knowledge, and have been programmed differently by life's ups and downs, then you won't take the distractions so seriously; and it will be easier and easier to stay on track in your relationship. n