Release the need to be the ‘good’ one – When Spending time with the family at Christmas feels horrid!

Go on, take a deep breath and consciously choose to breathe in peace and as you release the breath, let the tension in your body go.

You just got through the Christmas period, you spoke to family, cooked with family, tried not to kill family, tried not to talk too much about your dreams because you knew someone was going to judge you and find you wanting and you really could not be fucked with that.

And so you plastered on a smile, felt all the tension build up and wondered how long you had to pretend to love this.

Thankfully, it is over but you are left picking up the pieces of your shattered self-confidence and the peace you had struggled to reach, prior to the event.

First admit that you feel like this.

You cannot solve anything if you are unwilling to face the reality of it.

It felt yuk, didn’t it?

And you blamed yourself for not being able to relax and simply enjoy it!

Instead of seeing that this is a pattern that plays out every single year and you can choose at any moment to say ‘NO’, to refuse to take part, to be alone on Christmas day if necessary (SHOCK, HORROR!)

Instead, you judge yourself for feeling the way you feel and go right back for more the following year, weekend, day!

Are you a glutton for punishment?!

As my hubby put it yesterday, humans are the only creatures that make relationships so complicated.

An animal knows when it does not feel good about something and distances itself from it but humans just keep going back for more, telling themselves that it is the Christian thing to do, it is the loyal thing to do and that they HAVE TO work it out.

Why?

Telling themselves that they need to be nice and then allowing some other person to walk all over them and trample down their feelings in the name of ‘love’!

WHY?

You can just say ‘NO’!

Come on now! Wake up!

Wake up and value your feelings, value yourself.

And for goodness’ sake, stop going back to a situation that leaves you feeling so exposed all the time.

It is not ‘good’ to allow others to make you feel small all the time…

It is not ‘good’ to hold back on asking for what you need…

It is not ‘good’ to simply grin and bear it. You tell yourself that you only have to do this once or twice a year so surely, you should be able to put up with it.

WHY? Don’t you see what toll it takes on your emotional wellbeing! And don’t you see that you are called to big things and while you are busy nursing yourself back to strength, that is time you are not contributing to the planet, doing the work you are called to do, living life on purpose! It is simply a waste of your time!

It is not ‘good’ to continually tell yourself that your own opinions are not important enough for you to consider simply not taking part in the farce that is one of your family get-togethers.

OK, so it is not all bad. I get that!

But when last did you take a moment to really allow yourself to do and say what you wanted, to ask for what you need from a conversation with a family member?

Are you allowed to?

Or is there some unwritten rule you are living to that says you should just put up with the drama from all these people as that is the way it has always been and the way, it will always be.

Demand more from your life and the people in it because honey, you can only get what you ask for. And as you are not currently asking for much, that is EXACTLY what is happening.

It does not have to be that way.

So address it.

Start by figuring out which people, what situations mess with your inner peace.

Ask yourself why this happens and tap into the answers the bubble up from your intuition.

Write it down

And decide the actions you want to take to resolve it.

Allow yourself the option of just not dealing with this person EVER, if you don’t want to.

Give yourself freedom to make that choice.

I know it seems callous because of your conditioning but it is not.

You are born for more and a lot of this drama drains you to bits!

Be done with it!

Your vision is worth it.

YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Peace is definitely worth it!

Fight for, deliberately design the life you want to live and stop hiding from the hard choices.

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