Want to know the Truth?
Most guys won’t approach a woman. They are too scared. It is more frightening than hiking up Mt. Everest, or speaking in front of the White House Press Corps.
I cover the psychology of approaching women, and WHY men HAVE to approach in my ebook How To Get A Girlfriend. I assume you have this by now, so I won’t belabor that point (and if you don’t…what the heck are you waiting for? Click here to be reading it in under 60 seconds….seriously).
So, if you want real choice and power with your dating life, you’re going to have to join the minority. That’s right – you are going to have to seize the opportunities when they come your way and push through your fear.
Any guy can do it. This is not rocket science, or dismantling a land mine here. In fact, most women will give you the benefit of the doubt just for having the cajones to approach her – cool?
Assuming you can get past your own fear (subtle challenge), here are some MUSTS for making your approach smooth. The idea is to make the process as comfortable for you and her as possible.
If you strike out, chalk it up as a “learning experience.” Think about how you can make the next one better, got it?
Let’s accelerate your learning curve and go over 3 elements for making your next approach look as natural as a sunrise.
1) Casual: Looks much easier written down than when staring at the next Mrs. YOU. But, if you come on too strong to her at first, she’s going to get frightened and defend herself. To start the conversation, be as casual as possible by asking her a simple question about your environment. Also, keep your
body language as neutral as possible by not turning and facing her or leaning in to her. She is much more likely to receive your approach if you can prevent the words “something is up here, I can just feel it!!” from crossing her mind. Feel free to also look away as you chat with her. Again, you are reinforcing the casual-ness of the interaction.
2) Playful: Lots of guys become Mr. Cocky when they approach women, which is a defense mechanism. Drop the cockiness, and show her your confident side by being playful. This is also called – FLIRTING – and is a MUST skill for guys who want to enhance their dating lives. You want to simply joke around, but stay away from teasing her – you don’t know her well enough for that yet. Instead, point out the humor in your surroundings, or, even better, about yourself. The more self-effacing here the better. Let her know you don’t take yourself too seriously. If you can master this, women will trust you. If women trust you, they will want to be around you. See where this leads?
3) Personal: Last, but not least, at some point you have to let her know a little bit about you. Instead of relying on the standard diet of questions (“where are you from?”, “what is your sign?”), answer these questions for her in the form of statements. Just drop them into your conversation: “Your sweater reminds me of my sister, though we are from the south, it gets cold around November. She used to wear something similar at Thanksgiving.” In that statement alone, I reveal three facts about my life: I am from the south, I have a sister, and we gather at Thanksgiving. Suddenly, you are no longer a guy she just met at the café, but someone she is “getting to know”. There is a HUGE difference.
So, now that you have the basic three ideas in mind, you now have to LEARN them. Here is your mission:
Do one approach per day for the next week, and play around with these ideas. Try to take some notes after each approach, and learn where your sticking points are.
Thanks a lot guys, and send me any questions or comments you may have - am always happy to hear from guys improving this area of their lives.
Stephen Nash
Author, How To Get A Girlfriendnn