Seeds of Partings

Meetings of yesterday - seeds of tomorrow’s partings
Planted as hope - the sadness I know,
Growing straight and strong for so long,
And now fallen down in an ocean of tears.

Had I but known of the heartaches ahead,
And if I did, what matter?
What escape from this velvet noose,
This loneliness of night,
That draws me ever closer.

Attached so tightly with eyes cast aside,
Only the fear of loneliness,
Only the need to be calmed,
Only the need to be held.

Beyond my needs, what?
What?
For what can I hope?
What seeds will grow forever?

Seeds of ete
ity, where are you?
What are you?
What can I plant
That will not wither?

There!
There is my seed of ete
ity!
But it is so small,
I cannot see it.

This cannot be my seed,
It is not possible,
I find no pleasure in this seed,
I find no satisfaction.

No, I reject this seed,
I will find one better!
But my seeds of promise have all died,
And I am lost.

Lost in myself
Lost in a dense wood with no paths,
All is darkness.

But a faint light glimmers ahead,
Through the trees I see it,
Only a point of light,
So subtle,
So unchanging,
So ageless.

So timeless, this tiny seed of ete
ity
That I reject,
That I cannot understand,
That I cannot hold.

That I cannot cling to,
Or attach to,
Or become dependent upon,
Or rely upon.

I reach for it and it is not there,
I call to it but it does not answer,
I dream of it but my dreams have no substance,
I try to hold it, and it slips through my trembling fingers.

But somehow, it grows,
Without my grasping.
Without my reaching,
Without my fear.
Without me.

It is there when I am not,
Not a meeting of yesterday,
Nor a parting of tomorrow.

It is me,
I am it,
No meetings,
No partings,
There is no me now.

Within time are my meetings and partings,
But now I know;
No time, no me, no other,
No loneliness, no dark nights –

Only light now . . . n