Self-Doubt, It’s a Woman Thing

It’s true. Although I’ve worked with lots of men as well as women over the years and although everyone suffers from self-doubt to some degree, it’s definitely women who ‘take the biscuit’ (come out on top) when it comes to worrying about whether you’re doing the right thing, whether you really can do it, and what others will think of you if and when you do ‘do your thing’!

And I want to say loud and clear girls – IT’S TIME TO STOP!!

Because doubting yourself and worrying is not helping you, it’s not helpful to others and it certainly doesn’t allow you to be the change agent and role model I know you want to be!

And, it’s taking up your precious time!

Think about it for a moment – about how this type of thinking is affecting you:

• It’s making you feel bad
• You procrastinate or defer making a decision, which makes you feel bad!
• You talk about ‘not being certain’ about ‘not wanting to do the wrong thing’ about ‘wanting to get it right’ and this makes you feel bad!
• You’re hesitant and half-hearted when you do take action, and guess what? You don’t feel great!

How much of your life do you really want to be feeling like this?

And what about the effect on other people?

Well, in business people like certainty. Do you portray certainty when you’re dithering and doubting?

People like confidence. Do you appear confident when you’re worried about getting it right?

People like competence i.e. people who can do what they say they can. You usually only get to demonstrate this by first confidently expressing your knowledge and skills and how your product or service will deliver the required business or personal results.

So, what can you do when you know that what you’re currently doing is not getting you the results you want? When it’s affecting the way you feel on a daily basis?

You can go easy on yourself.

You can recognise that your thoughts affect the words you say, both to yourself and to others. Your thoughts and the language you use affect how you feel, and all of these affect your behaviour and actions. And of course how you behave and the actions you take dictate the results you get!
So start to become aware of what you’re thinking, how you're feeling, and the words and phrases you use. (Ask your loved ones or work colleagues for feedback and help if you find this difficult at first.) Pay attention to how you feel when you’re doing things in your business; notice when you‘re procrastinating and explore what’s going on in your head and in your body at that point – listen to yourself – mind, body and soul!

When you become vigilant, and when you can do this with a sense of curiosity rather than judgement, that’s when you can start to eliminate your self-doubt. Becoming our own best friend really is the answer for us women.

So, go easy on yourself – don’t criticise and judge – stop being your own worst enemy, and start to be the same friend you are to others to yourself. Let’s stop this being a woman’s thing once and for all! What do you say? Are you up for it? Fantastic.......do let me know how you’re getting on.