Sex After Recovery

SEX..now there’s a word that can cause an immediate response in a majority of our population.

Look at the teenager wondering how the first experience “should be” or the parents who refuse to allow their children to take Sex Ed classes in school. Listen to the church that preaches about the morality of sex...to be used for pro-creation...refusing to admit that it can take one to unbridled heights of spirituality and connection with the real self. And then hear the pain of the women married for 20 years or more and never having experienced a true orgasm, or the men fearing lack of erection and thereby resorting to Viagra. Now get in touch with the adults still afraid to masturbate, and the men who do not realize that when they satisfy their partner first, they become more aroused and able to enjoy themselves to a greater degree. And consider feeling the dilemma of men and women fearing nakedness and “lit room” lovemaking with their partner. Sense the guilt and shame that still haunts many gays and lesbians.

Have you ever wondered why we have so many negative responses around such a sacred, beautiful and fulfilling act? Could it be that we as a society have been programmed magnificently to fear the true nature of sexuality, sensuality and love making? And...when we had sex under our addictive influences, wasn’t it impossible to experience true love making because in order to experience it, we needed to love ourselves? And if we had truly loved ourselves, we would not have destroyed our lives through addictive behaviors. With addiction, the senses and feelings were dulled...we were not in our heart spaces..it was impossible to be.

True love making, sex, sensuality (call it what you may) comes from the heart...an open heart. As addicts, our hearts were closed and that gave us “excuses” to continue on our path of destruction. Bottom line, we were afraid of our true selves...our emotions, feelings and “beingness.”

As recovering persons, we must first look at how we may have used sex to further sedate our feelings or to take advantage of someone or simply to release pent up energy in our genitals. It no longer serves us to behave in such a manner.

Sexuality after recovery needs to be expressed as “sensuality from the heart,” if it is to be satisfying, empowering and spiritually encompassing. It is imperative that we mend our broken hearts, forgive ourselves and all others for all perceived faults and let go of all guilt and shame. By doing so, we begin to release our guilt of being a “bad or tainted person.” Trusting ourselves, and allowing for vulnerability become the natural byproducts. We can finally accept ourselves as sexual beings and be truly intimate with ourselves. Without the release of this emotional garbage, our hearts will remain shut and we will be unable to reach those intense, multi-orgasmic connections to spirit and our spirit selves while intimacy with another will remain impossible.

This planet has indeed been a difficult place to live and understand who we really are and what we are really capable of. Addictions have been a perfect way to show us who we are not so we can reclaim who we really are. True spiritual power involves having access to all parts of ourselves, including our sexual parts. Is it loving to deny yourself sexual bliss? The choice is up to you...the empowered you. You are not powerless over your thoughts and beliefs and what they create. Please reconnect with your true power and.......Happy Creating Your Orgasmic Bliss!