Signals You May Have Work-Life-Imbalance

When I hear clients say this phrase, “I feel like I’m running out of time,” signals several alerts to my trained ear. In coaching, we call it “Articulating What Is Going On.” We do this by playing back to the client what you heard them say. We do this together so the client feels supported and not alone. The, we dig deeper to discover what lies beneath this statement of “running out of time,”

Signals You May Have Work-Life-Imbalancer
Here are several clues to what may be there:
1. Over desire to please at your expense—You are spent.
2. Taking on others’ goals for you with unrealistic standards you have not challenged and self-anger becomes depression. These usually manifest as “should” statements from others.
3. Check on body tension and where you may be resisting
4. Burn out and hollowness with no purpose
5. Fear-based reaction to something you are not sure how to do
6. Floating anxiety sweeps in from another “place” that may have nothing to do with time.
7. No time left for you in your 24 hours after serving everyone else because you did not schedule time for your self-care.
8. Everyone has the same 24 hours, and you may feel it slipping away because you are unfulfilled.
9. Your energy is sapped, and there is nothing left for you personally but you do not want to complain.
10. Guilty feelings about your blessed life, and you want more but have no energy to pursue your dream.

Here is a technique you can use for self-coaching. (See #6 above.) It is called Making Distinctions.
It is the ability to tease apart two entangled ideas that present as one. For example, if someone sees herself as a failure because of a poor decision in her work, she may define her life as a failure rather than seeing one decision that did not work. The challenge is to separate the incident from the umbrella label of “failure.” Through the awareness, you learn a useful tool for the future.

I use this tool to clarify ideas and reframe contexts that require separation to become clear. Otherwise, an inaccurate or fuzzy picture can emerge. It can be confusing and destructive to your esteem. The distinctions provide information so you can move forward and make a stand or decision with confidence. You become “unstuck.”

By taking “a moment,” you break the anxiety cycle. You are able to be more objective when you see what is written down. It is concrete. Depending on the time of day and where you are, see what is appropriate for you to take action.
Sometimes walking around your chair at work, a short walk to a window or holding or reading something of value to you, can break the grip of frustration.

Why does this work?
Any one of the mentioned conditions can throw you off balance. Add your own to the list. Take a moment and write down what you believe you are experiencing. A deep breath does wonders for perspective. See how you feel when you read back what you wrote. Once you identify the source of your feeling, you can address it. If away from home, you can make a promise to yourself to reward your behavior later that day, and really do it!

By adopting self-coaching techniques, you can rebalance the vision of your life and enjoy your 24 hours by your rules. -MC