So, You’re Thinking about Leaving

We all have come across that time in our life when the grass looks greener on the other side. Well, this is to help you decipher exactly what it is that you are missing in your life.

You first have to think; has there been anything major that’s happened in your life that has upset you? This is so important! For an example: the death of a family member, or a close friend? Something so upsetting that it shook the ground right unde
eath you. A bad experience can bring people closer by the comfort and the knowing that they are with the one that they want to be with when death comes knocking at their door. It is NOT comforting to know that the love and support you need is not there. And that you are not with the person you should be with.

The second thing is just plain remembering. Take a stroll down memory lane. How long has it been since you had fun together? How long has it been since you’ve been taken to your favorite place? Does he/she attend social or family functions with you? Or does he/she go with you and you end up having a miserable time? Or are you to the point that you either don’t want your mate to go with, or you just don’t attend them anymore? Are you loved and supported the way you want and deserve to be? Does he respect your wishes and the boundaries that you set?

Sit down, relax and try this exercise. Make sure your mind is clear of everything. Don’t do this exercise if you’ve just had any type of an argument. Take a couple of deep breaths to relax you and help clear your mind. Next, visualize yourself sitting in the sunshine watering your flowers. Look at the beautiful colors and how bright they are. The yellows look stunning and the reds and violets are shimmering. Now smell the aroma that each flower gives off. The scent is dancing in your nostrils. Now feel the flower petals and notice which flower has what texture. Sit back a little and look how beautiful this flower garden that you have created looks. Now your mate walks over to you. Look at the flowers, are they still vibrant and full of color and is the aroma still strong? Or have the flowers become wilted?

What I would strongly recommend to you is to take a break. Take some time to sort through your feelings. Go somewhere you can be alone for a few days, no distractions. While you are gone give yourself time and acknowledge any pain or disappointment that you have felt. Take a piece of paper out and write these things down. Make sure you notate what you were disappointed in and when you explain it, make sure you let your mate know how that made you feel.

If you have grown apart you still have to take the time and acknowledge this relationship. You have to put it in the right perspective because if you don’t you take any and all negatives from this relationship onto the next one. What are some of the things that you would have done differently? Write down your expectations of your mate and then analyze if they were in their power to deliver them from the get go.

Also, you will need to recognize if this is a time table event. Meaning that is this a temporary fork in the road or is it permanent? Would your decision be different if there was a longer time table? Is it a financial issue that time can change or is it permanent factor?

Don’t forget to write the pros and the cons. Be honest with yourself. Make sure that you are away from everyone so you can think and reflect clearly.

You have to step out of your situation in order to view it clearly. And you need to realize that people grow, they change, and they evolve. And guess what, it’s nobody’s fault; no one at all. So don’t put blame on someone when there shouldn’t be any. Don’t think about the lost years if there are any. Look forward to the rest of your day, to your tomorrow’s, and to the rest of your life. There are a lot of happy people out there both in a relationship and are happy single. Whatever you decide; just consider this as a tool to help you.

Sometimes the grass is not always greener on the other side. Remember: life is not easy. A union has to be based on love, understanding, respect, kindness, laughter, and communication. Not just one or two of these qualities will work, but a combination of all of them.