Staying Stuck Is Easy

It is an uncomfortable habit that feels so familiar it becomes comfortable. It turns up the volume on fear so high that to move in any direction instills a panicky feeling. You feel trapped and victimized, convincing yourself that doing anything different will kill you.

Have you ever felt this?

Staying stuck is easy until the decision is made that the pain of staying stuck is greater than the fear of moving forward. The courage of risking everything is finally worth the freedom of moving forward, making decisions and claiming your vision, those hopes and dreams of what life could be if you could just do one thing to get unstuck.

I have let this fear stop me many times in my life. I spent many years feeling stuck, unable to make even a small step towards my dreams. There were many times when I would take a few steps but then refused to go any further. This is just as painful because you see your goal in front of you but no path to reach it. I guess if I weren’t so persistent I would just clean the slate board and completely forget that goal.
I felt as if I were on a seesaw. I could see my goal in front of me -first my own emotional freedom and then that of all those around me. Since I didn’t have it, I wanted it just to prove it was possible.

My childhood was challenging emotionally. I lived with constant reminders of emotional instability and its consequences. There were many cases of mental disorders on both family trees. My Dad had bipolar disorder, which was undiagnosed until he was in his 70’s. My Mom’s family carried strong doses of depression, and let’s not forget my Aunt’s struggle with schizophrenia. To call this emotionally challenging doesn’t come close to the chaos I felt inside.

As a child, I just hoped to be “normal”. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I realized that the bar wasn’t set high enough. I began my journey of seeking strategies to just be okay with living in my own skin so that I could have an fulfilled life. I struggled for decades, almost losing hope for me to be free of the chaos that seemed to take up permanent residence inside me. I never even realized until much latter in life that the crazy feeling that seemed to be part of me had a name- panic attacks.

During those many years of seeking and struggling, I despaired and visited that stuck place many times. How painful that was! There were months were I gave up my vision of an emotionally balanced life, but somehow, thankfully it came back to help me find the courage to to claim my goal again. I would climb out of the hole in the ground that seemed to swallow me up and went out into the world to ask for help yet again. Somewhere deep inside that I couldn’t live in that stuck state of mind and that a better was waiting for me.

Over the years I have learned to be present with my feelings no matter how painful they may be, able to find my way safely of out of panic when I get overwhelmed and am able to cherish the moments of joy and calm that are frequent in my life. I am well on my way to reaching the second part of my goal which is to share my method to get out of chaos and into emotional calm with many more people, through my writing, online classes, speaking engagements and one on one clients. Over the past 20 years I have been sharing my insights into healing with many wonderful people but now I am ready to expand my reach and my dream of sharing emotional freedom with many more people. All this from a little girl who suffered with panic attacks and the pain of feeling stuck. My hope is that I can show you what I learned so you don’t have to endure being stuck, and that I can help you find the path to reach your goals with emotional balance and resilience.