Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones – But Words Will Never Hurt Me!

Do you remember this little chant from our earlier days?

I can remember, so very well, a lot of the teasing that I took as a young child. I had reddish hair, a ton of freckles – I was shorter than most people, everywhere (it seemed). I can also remember how the teasing hurt. How we feel about ourselves - our self-esteem - our sense of self-worth – our self-image - this is all formed at a very young age.

I know, from the many workshops that I have facilitated over the past 25 years, that we, as adults, carry these 'tapes' in our head right to this very day. Unless you are very aware of your thinking and your vocabulary, you, too, can be saying things to others (and to yourself, still) that hurt you. Words are a powerful weapon. Our words are a direct result of what we are thinking:

"Our present thoughts determine our future." – Lou Tice.

In the workshop this past weekend, Dr. Brad was presenting information to help us, as public speakers, grow our business. The session was very interactive. It was interesting to me to see how often he would zero in on one's vocabulary – the words that were being used to describe oneself – words such as: hope, think, might, perhaps, wish, maybe. "These are weak words", he would say (and I couldn't agree more!).

To grow your business, you must grow yourself.

I ask corporate leaders all the time, "What are you doing to grow your people?" As entrepreneurs, ask yourself the question, "What are YOU doing to grow YOU?" As individuals, what are you doing to become the best YOU?

It all starts with the way we think. Our words represent our thoughts and beliefs – and then we go out and act like the person we believe ourselves to be.

To grow our business as a public speaker, it is essential that we use power words in the process. Some of the questions we were discussing include:

1. What are you passionate about?

2. What are you best at doing?

3. What is your legacy, or calling?

4. What are you going to give up/let go of to make it work?

As you answer these questions, become very aware of the words you use. In the workshop, that's when we were hearing words such as: hope, think, might, etc. I agree with Dr. Brad – these are weak words!

When I was on my trip around the world, I paid particular attention to mothers and children. I listened to the conversations and, in particular, to the exchange of words. So, whether it was young entrepreneur in Viet Nam who told himself, on a daily basis, that he COULD grow his business (selling snakes and turtles to tourists) – to young gal in Iceland, learning a new dance from my friend, Anne – it's all in the power of the words being used.

"I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet." – Mohandas K. Gandhi

"Awareness is the master aptitude", said Dr. Brad. I concur. My updated version of the old expression would now read: Sticks and stones may break my bones and words will definitely hurt me. So, watch your words!

The beauty in all of this is that WE control our thoughts – we can change our core beliefs – we have the power. We can change those 'old tapes' in our head to become positive, up-lifting, affirming and forward thinking.

I know that I am a 'work in progress'. This is a 'do-it-yourself' project for me. I am constantly aware of my thinking and my vocabulary. I commit to putting brain in gear before I put my mouth in motion.

What about you? What is your level of awareness when it comes to your vocabulary – especially when you are speaking about your passion, your talents, your unique abilities?

Assignment

1. Stop and think BEFORE you speak any time this week. Become very quiet and aware of what words are beginning to form in your mind.

2. When it comes to work, does your vocabulary represent your passion, your talents and your unique gifts – or, are you practicing false humility?

3. When it comes to you, as an individual, does your vocabulary uplift and inspire?

4. What is one change you can make, beginning today, to incorporate more power words into your vocabulary? What difference will that make – especially if are you a coach or a public speaker?

Do some of these exercises and I guarantee that you will start to live your best life. When you try new things, you are developing the confidence and courage to move forward and invent the life you truly want to live.