Stop playing the victim’s role. Release others and FORGIVE your Self.

Forgiveness gives me the power to be in control of my feelings and find my way to happiness.

Some days ago I found myself thinking about forgiveness after I was talking with my sisters about how some families are broken up because the members are not capable of forgiving themselves and their family members.

Many people think that is very hard to forgive, and yes, it is hard if you think that way. Some of the excuses for not forgiving are 1) we are very angry with the person who hurts us; 2) we think our offender doesn't deserve our forgiveness; 3) we want to harm him/her the same way we were harmed; 4) the person who hurts us needs to apologize first, and so on. Maybe it takes a lot of effort to forgive, even more effort when we need to forgive somebody who really affected our life in a bad way. But, if we really want to heal our life and be happy, forgiveness is the first step. We cannot be happy if we are carrying negative feelings inside us.

Most of us carry around anger, resentment, jealousy or any other negative feelings directed to others. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself, not to others. When you forgive you clean yourself from the bottom of your heart. When you forgive you take a BIG weight off your shoulders. Forgiveness releases the chains from your pain and suffering. It gives you wings to fly high and enjoy your life. It lets your energy flows inside you.

Forgiveness means "to release the negative energy that you have inside you." That energy is blocking all the good thoughts, feelings and emotions you want to have and feel to be the new YOU.

Forgive yourself first. Sometimes we are very severe judges of ourselves. Perhaps you feel guilty about something you did – or did not do. We want to punish ourselves, and it only causes us more pain. We are assuming the role of a victim and it is additive. Stop playing the victim's role, and start looking for things that make you happy. You are happier than you realize. You are the most important person in the universe and you deserve the best things in life. There are no reasons to punish yourself. Everybody fails and that is the best way to learn. Learn from your mistakes and ask for help if you think you need it. Protect yourself and move on!

Forgive others. If you want to forgive somebody who is important for you, try to express your feelings to him/her. Communication is very important in a relationship. Be polite and calm. Don't use threatening language. Don’t try to make him/her guilty. If the other person is not open to talking about it, don't feel bad. You did your best and there are no regrets. Shame on him/her. Remember you cannot change others but you can change yourself, the way you feel. The most important thing is that you feel good. You control the way you feel. Try to replace the negative image you see about something or somebody for a positive image … and forgive.

Another thing you can do: when the person is not in your life anymore, write about your feelings. Write a letter expressing your feelings and forgive him/her. Burn the letter or put it in the trash. This is a good way to release your negative feelings.

Ho’oponopono is another way to heal your life and release negative emotions. Pray the words, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you." You are sending blessings and good vibes to yourself and your environment. You can create your own prayers, too and meditate or visualize yourself with the person you want to forgive in a happy situation.

Remember, forgiveness doesn't change other person's actions, behavior or words. It changes YOUR life. The most important work you need to do is to be happy. Do more things that make you happy; smile and laugh more. Find a way to have fun in everything. Life is easy when you realize that it is easy. Practice the art of allowing. Allow happiness and all good feelings to come to your life. Love yourself a little more every day. Re-align with who you are. Release what is stopping you from being at one with your OWN source.

Understand that we are human beings and everybody is different. You control how you feel; don't let other people have the power to control you.