Talking With Your Kids

A Deeper Look at Positive Parenting. Sometimes, especially if our child/teen is doing well, we parents tend to forget about giving her that pat on the back. Or, we assume she doesn’t need it. Not so. Everyone enjoys being noticed or getting support. Your child/teen also wants to know that you see her effort and progress as well as her successes. All relationships flourish when the people in them sincerely affirm each other. So, consider telling your child/teen that you notice how hard she works or that you like the goals she sets or that you’re aware that she manages her time well or anything else you see that’s positive. I don’t think you’ll regret it. Below you’ll see some words and phrases that you might use to get you started. You might feel uncomfortable or even awkward at first. A lot of us parents aren’t used to talking this way. But, I hope you’ll try them anyway. After a while I’m pretty sure they’ll feel more natural or maybe you’ll just develop your own. And, there a great bonus to this, too: if you do the affirming over time she’ll come to understand and believe these things about herself. That’s a tremendous boost to self-esteem. Give it a try.

1. It looks like you’ve worked hard today.
2. See, I knew you could do it.
3. Hey, way to go.
4. Yeah, it looks like you figured out how to do it.
5. I can’t improve on yours.
6. Couldn’t have done it better myself.
7. Hey, good for you.
8. Yeah, you’ve got it.
9. It looks like you’re really good at that.
10. Nice going.
11. Keep it up.
12. You must have been practicing.
13. I really like that.
14. You figured that out fast.
15. Good for you.
16. Yes!
17. Good thinking.
18. Look how far you’ve come.
19. Keep on trying.
20. Nice going.

And, of course, we don’t want to forget to say, “I love you.” That’s always the frosting on the cake. All the best until next time, Joan Chamberlain