The 5 Stages of Effective Communication

Hi, it's Adrian Law here from the Academy of Positive Change. If you would like to know one thing that will change your results quickly and improve them dramatically, stay tuned. I'm not sure if you know this or not but some of the highest paid people and the happiest people on the planet are effective communicators. Whether they are public speakers, some politicians, actors, actresses etc. Now it's all to do with the way in which we communicate. Donald Trump once said, 'We are thinking anyway so why not think big?' I love it! I'm writing this in the beautiful Rose Bay. Hopefully, you are reading this carefully because this message is very powerful. There are two types of communication. One is exte al, which is when you are talking to other people and the other one is internal. That's the self talk, that little voice in your head. Today, we are going to talk about the exte al and what is called the ladder of language. Basically, there are 5 steps to effective communication. and there are 5 points to this. I recommend you write this down. Point number one which is right at the bottom of the ladder, the fifth step if you like. The bottom of the ladder is when you force information on people. This is what the least accepted. We're going to move up to the most accepted but this is the least accepted form of communication. When somebody says, " You will do this" or they threaten you. I remember a friend once telling me that their father when they were growing up once said, "If you smoke, I'll break both your legs." That's forcing information. That's putting pressure on somebody. What happens inside you if you receive that form of communication? That's right. Your defence's go up. That is not accepted at all. The next level up is still not accepted. It's better than forcing but it's still not great. This is where the majority of the population lives up until now. That's what we are looking to change. The next level, the forth level down is when you tell information. For example, "You should go to the gym. You need to exercise, You need to think more positive." Whatever it may be. When somebody tells you that you need do something or you should to do something, again the defences can go up and you resist. What we are going to do is create a big line above force and tell and the next three in the ladder of language are ALL accepted forms of communication. I am going to work up from three to one. You'll love this. That one is kind of weird. It's when you steal information. Steal Adrian. What are you talking about? Well, it is like receiving information from a third party. If somebody gives a compliment for example, depending on who they are, you may accept or you may not. I remember one time a boss who gave quite me regular compliments, but because I got to know him a little bit, he always seems to want something when he said something nice, so I didn't really take it on. I didn't really believe it as he's kind of telling me if you like. But then one day, one of my colleagues at the same company told me that the boss was speaking very highly of me. Do you think I accepted that compliment? You betcha! If you are single or remember when you were. If someone tells you that they like you compared to your friend sharing that this person said to them that they like you, which one do you believe more? In business, you might have a great idea to improve the company but you may not be the boss and you really want get your idea across. Now, there's a lot of egos in business unfortunately. Sometimes, people don't want to hear your ideas, but if you steal the information or another way to put it is if you are very strategic and let say the boss takes on your idea as their own, then they will own it and accept it. Hopefully that makes sense. Ask me any questions you like by simply writing below. I'll clear them up for you if what I've explained doesn't make sense or if you'd like some extra clarity. Number 2 on the ladder of language will make sense if the previous one didn't. What is the second most accepted form of communication. It's stories,metaphors and analogies. We loved them when we were little, we still love them now for the most part. It's because you get to use your imagination. You can often see, hear and feel what somebody is talking about when they are giving you a story. Just like what I am doing as you read this, by giving you various examples to explain a point. Use stories and If you don't have your own story for your own success, I suggest that you put all together. It's really powerful the way that you can create, deliver and move people through your journey rather than just giving data. Data is boring, generally. Keep thinking of more stories, give analogies and examples of what other people have done when you deliver your message. Number one on the list of the most accepted forms of communication through the ladder of language is where people make up their information themselves. It's closely related to getting others to use their imagination like in the previous point of sharing stories, metaphors and analogies. When people make information up themselves, they believe it and it can move them emotionally. For example if I were a salesperson selling cars, I might be presenting a vehicle to you and you might say that safety is important to you because you have a young child. Now, I could say to you that this car has an ABS - Anti lock-braking system. It's good because it's safe. If I asked you if you know much about ABS brakes and let's say that you don't know much about it, I would present it to you. I could say something like, you can drive the car and if you needed to you could slam on the brakes the wheels don't lock up so you can still steer, so it's pretty good. However, if I was to use number 1 on the ladder of language - making information of yourself I might ask you the same question - What you know about ABS brakes and you reply the same way. However this time I'd make sure that I knew your son or daughter's specific name and imagine that I say this to you instead, but in a slow, delibrate tone - "Imagine for a moment that you are driving down a typical road that you would go down. Just see yourself there and your son or daughter is in the back of the car, when a car or truck pulls out in front of you and is about to smash into your car." "What the ABS breaks enables you to do is to slam your foot on the break before the car hits you and you can still steer out of harms way. You and maybe more importantly your son or daughter in the back is completely safe. Isn't that the kind of feature that you would like in your new car?" See the difference. Think about this for a moment. I have no idea what a typical road you would go down is. Guess who does? You do :) I have no idea if you have a son or daughter or what they look like. But highly likely, you saw them in the back of your car. This second way is much more real for you. They say that there is no difference between a perceived image and a reality. That's what it's 'Making it upthemselves' is all about. This is the ladder of language. I could speak or write about this all about this all day. This is all part of about being an effective communicator. Please leave your comments below. I would love to hear from you. Any questions that you have I'd be happy to answer them and give you more clarity if you need it. Simply leave a message below and I'll get back to you as soon as I possibly can. I am Adrian Law. Bye for now.