The abundant side of authenticity: Are you allowing yourself to receive it?

How do you really know if you are following your soul’s calling or with your soul mate? Well, I just received an e-mail from an ecstatic ex client, who just announced that she had finally found her soul mate. Is there anything more liberating than being able to be your true self in a relationship at home, at work, and socially -- and not feeling like you will be judged, shamed, or punished for it?

This brings me back close to six years ago, when I was coaching my first client: a lawyer with a private practice. When he discovered how devoted my soul mate is to me, he asked me, "So, what do you do for him?" My quick and easy response was: "I give him lots of love and affection." (Yes, it is true! I am a romantic. Are you?) The simple truth is, a relationship, or your work for that matter, is not supposed to be complicated. If it is meant to be, it will be until it no longer represents the real you, no matter how dynamic and continually evolving you may be. Your relationships, in addition to your work or business, will be successful as long as you authentically show up and do the work.

You will also notice that the more you allow yourself to be you, warts and all, the more confident and content you will feel. Those of us, who are image conscious and want to be socially accepted, need to pay particular attention to this lesson. Why? Because people who are more real are more accepting and approachable, and often lead more abundant lives. This is something that became very evident to me when I saw multi-millionaire real estate developer Donald Trump (nicknamed “The Donald”) and Brett Wilson ("The Capitalist with a Heart") from the Dragon’s Den Canadian television show “live” in person last year. They were so comfortable being in their own skin that it readily made us feel at home with them. Plus, you will learn that the dividing line between those who do like you versus those who do not like you will become even more pronounced. I urge you to embrace this as progress on your part. After all, would you not prefer to be with easygoing people instead of with difficult people?

Speaking of feeling self- or image-conscious, if the fear of appearing less than perfect is holding you back in your personal or business life, then it is time for you to break down the wall that may be separating you and those people you definitely want in your life: your lover, close friends and family, ideal clients and partners! just to name a few. That wall is delicate. So, go easy on yourself and your subject(s); there is no need to bulldoze your way through. For example, instead of toughing it out, allow your vulnerability to emerge. In literal terms, when a prospective client asks for something that would require you to settle for less than what feels right for you, relax and then tell him/her that you personally do not offer this. Choose to feel great about maintaining your integrity, and carry on with your conversation.

Remember, the more transparent your communication is, the more satisfying all of your relationships will be. After all, life is not a drama; it is the real deal. Make it count for something and enjoy and appreciate the people who walk in and out of your life whether it is for a reason, season or lifetime, as the popular saying goes.