The Art of The Elegant, Green Thank You Note

The Art of The Elegant, Green Thank You Noter
By Merryl Brown
Merryl Brown Events, LLC

According to Emily Post, hand written thank you notes for wedding gifts are a social must. There is no way to avoid this task, no matter how much you hate the thought of it. It is recommended that you write notes as you receive the gifts in order not to let yourself get too far behind. You should not send a note later than three months after receiving a gift under any circumstances.

Consider purchasing your thank you notes at the same time as you order your invitations. You can have a graphic designer custom design your thank you note to coordinate with your wedding invitation in order to create a seamless look and style or you can choose one of many pre-designed options as well. Only for the “greenest” of weddings should you consider a paperless thank you note. Your notes, like your invitations should be printed on 100% recycled content paper that is processed chlorine free, using vegetable based inks. They can truly be at the level of quality of a Mrs. John L. Strong or Smythson note card, and still be green.

It is not appropriate to send thank you notes with your married name until after the wedding, so consider printing a smaller batch of note cards with your maiden name too in order to send out timely thank you notes for your wedding shower gifts. You can always order notes with a pretty motif or symbol, so that you can continue to use them after you are married if you are conce
ed that you may not use them all up. When you order your thank you notes, be sure to order an ample supply with your married name on them. You will always be able to use them for other types of thank you notes, anniversary gifts and the many occasions where a gift is proffered. Be sure to use a fountain pen or felt tipped pen, as it will look much more elegant than a ball point pen on your fine note cards.

Here are some tips regarding things that you might want to say in your thank you notes:

It is fine for notes to be short, but they must mention what the person has given you as a gift so that there is no doubt in their minds that you know what they have given you. There is nothing worse than a vague or generic note when a guest has spent the money and time to give you a thoughtful gift.

If you have asked guests to make a donation to a favorite charitable organization instead of gifts, be sure to thank them sincerely, no matter the monetary amount, which you should not make reference to in dollar terms. Use the opportunity to thank them for their generosity and to tell them why that organization holds a special meaning for you and your spouse.

Let the person know you like their gift, if you really do. Otherwise, comment on its uniqueness or how interesting it is. You don’t need to be dishonest, but best not to hurt feelings either. “…Mary and I marveled at how unique and colorful your teapot was…”

When writing your thank you notes, it is best to sign your own name at the end but to reference your spouse in the text, “…John and I love the …” or “Missy and I are so excited to use the …”

It is perfectly appropriate for grooms to also send thank you notes, particularly to their own family members, who will really appreciate a special note from them, especially as they may not know the bride well if at all. This will also lessen the pressure on the bride may feel the burden of having so many cards to write.

In addition to sending thank you notes to the people who send you gifts, you will also want to remember to send notes to anyone who has thrown you a shower or party for your wedding. Sending notes to vendors who went above and beyond will be a very meaningful gesture to them. Your big, long, gushing notes should be sent to your parents if they played a large part, financial or otherwise, in your day and to your groomsmen, best man, bride’s maids and maid of honor who no doubt spent a lot of time and money to be with you throughout the course of your engagement and wedding. A note to the priest, rabbi or wedding officiant would also be an appropriate and well-received gesture, particularly if they have been in your life for a long time. Notes to special relatives are also ones that should be a bit longer and more personalized. Carve out the time each day to get a few of these bigger ones done.

It can seem like an arduous task, but remember that sending a proper thank you note is the right thing to do. It is a sign of grace and elegance to be able to craft a beautiful and well-written thank you note to the people that mean so much to you and who have taken the time to be with you to celebrate this most special time in your lives.