The Biggest Dilemma When Surviving An Affair: Should I Stay Or Should We Get a Divorce?

When you are surviving an affair, your next decision comes down to only two choices: to stay together and try saving your marriage or get out and leave everything behind. Here are three questions for you to consider before making any decision: 1. Are you the only one who is trying to work on your marriage? If your husband or wife is not willing to work with you and try saving your marriage together you can't make a decision all by yourself because the effort of surviving an affair is too much for just one person to make. Here are some considerations: * Are you sure that your spouse has ended the affair? * Does the one who cheated is remorseful for what she/he did? * Have you seen any desire from your spouse to repair your marriage? * What your spouse is saying about couples counseling and about the efforts needed for surviving an affair? * Does your spouse is doing exactly what she/he is saying? 2. If your spouse is not willing to do any couples counseling, what do you do? Not anyone is willing to go to a marriage counselor for surviving an affair. They are afraid of feeling humiliated, being judged or maybe they are not ready yet to reveal all the details about what happened in the relationship and especially with someone else like a marriage counselor. But you should know that there is still hope for your marriage. You have to know if your spouse is willing to try other alte ative to counseling like trying to just sit down face to face and start talking about your relationship and the problems you two have and what to do to save your marriage. The most important thing is to talk openly to each other about what are the most important steps to make for surviving an affair. 3. Do you want to save your marriage and go through all the effort doing it? Maybe your spouse is not feeling the same way like you do about saving your marriage and working together for surviving an affair and you may feel vulnerable and alone but this does not mean that you are not strong enough for making a decision and knowing what is right for you. The road ahead of you is very tough and surviving an affair is never easy and you will have to deal with the images inside your head, negative emotions and feelings and all the memories about the affair also you will have problems to build up your self-esteem. You may think that all the effort you are putting to save your relationship is worth it or not. Knowing these questions will give you an idea about what you will have to face and to see the whole picture on what decision you should make about your marriage. To some of these questions you may not find the answer right now and you should know that is okay. The time is passing and considering these questions and trying to answer them will help you put the affair behind you and make the efforts of surviving an affair to be less painful.