The Fearless Factor - 5 Ways to Stop Fear From Ruining Your Holiday Season

In Alcoholics Anonymous they talk about never getting too tired, too hungry or too angry, and at this time of year, all of this can be stirred up as we struggle with the weight of too many expectations, too many desires and demands, and the general siren call of retail hell where credit cards are stretched to the max and the obligations of social responsibility take hold of our lives.

So how do we stop the fear of watching our lives spin out of control during December, and reaching January like a sailor washed ashore? What can we do to stop the holiday overwhelm

1. Remember that just because Joe or Jenny is buying you a present, you don't have to reciprocate. There are only two words that serve and they are 'Thank You'. Said with meaning and deepest gratitude it goes a long way. There is no need to fear the self-doubt and recrimination that frequently accompanies such exchanges. This usually includes "Now I have to buy them a present." No you don't.

2. There is no such thing as the perfect gift! When in doubt about what to buy - don't. It's a waste of money. Instead, donate something to your favorite charity and tell the person you’re not giving gifts, but instead are donating money to something worthwhile like educating homeless children, or taking care of stray cats!

3. Saying No to a party invitation is not the end of your social life. There will always be more. We all need to rest sometime and a night in front of the TV can be just the mindless rest you need.

4. If you overeat and overdrink too much, remember...Tomorrow is another day and you can button your lips and abstain if you want to. Key here: "If you want to". Nobody is forcing you.

5. Give yourself permission to have a good time and drop the words 'have to, obligation, duty and tradition' from the reasons why you do things. Do it because it will give you pleasure. Do it because it will be fun.

The holidays are meant to be like a mini-vacation, not a season from hell. How much you choose to participate in them is up to you, but you do have a choice.

So have no fear...learning how to say no is a powerful holiday tool and you won't spoil your appetite for having a good time either.