The Greatest Lesson Losing a Friend Taught Me

I remember having a conversation a year ago in January with a very good friend of mine about her writing a book and starting her mentoring and coaching business.
We talked some about strategies and marketing and when she wanted to get started. I knew that she was passionate about this and ready to make it happen.

But just like most women in business, we allow other people's demands and needs to take priority over ours. We find logical reasons why we must wait, postpone and delay our dreams.

We say things such as, "I got to get my son ready for college, my daughter's prom is next month or my husband doesn't feel it's the right time now." But when does being a mother and a wife cancel out when and how you are to live your own dreams? While many women blame these reasons on not living their dreams, the reality is that we are simply afraid of standing in our own power.

My friend had done some great things already as a business woman. But this new journey was something she was very passionate about. Because it was a personal journey, one that was dear to her heart and one where she would indeed unleash her greatest potential to shine.

Unfortunately her dream was never realized. Because in October of last year, I attended my friend's funeral. While I was hurt and broken about losing such an amazing, extraordinary woman and friend, I couldn't help but cry because her dream was never realized. Her true, authentic purpose was finally revealed to her and she was beginning to sit in her sweet spot.

But you and I will never benefit from that vision, the one she and I had discussed. Her children and her husband and all of the people she would have reached through her vision won't get to experience the magnitude of what it could have brought to the planet.

I miss my friend every single day and I wonder could I have done more? When she and I spoke the first of the year in 2012 to lay out the vision, we didn't speak again until June. I could sense2 that we needed to move forward. But like most women, her family demands took priority and she was starting to get really sick. We never spoke again. The next call that I received from her number was her husband calling to say that she was gone.

During her funeral service, I literally broke down. Because I knew her personal dreams and I knew how much she wanted this vision to be her legacy.
As I left my friend's funeral, I made a decision that I would live my life out loud in a more powerful and magnificent way. That I would move further out of my comfort zone and take more risk. I promised to push you a little harder by encouraging you to not let the dream die inside of you. I committed to reaching more people through my writings, my blogs, my radio show, my social media and all of my weekly columns and master channel videos. I now reach approximately 1.5 million people each month through all of these outlets.

I have vowed to do more speaking to encourage you and others to "move out of your comfort zones, take risk and live your dreams now."

Beautiful woman. You've been holding a space for everyone else to shine, but who is holding a space for you? It's time that you begin creating that space. I will continue to call you, to send out the emails, to share with you on my radio shows, my conference calls and to create even more powerful transformative services/events/programs/products to help empower you to live your dreams fully. I am willing to stand with you, to hold a space for your brilliance to shine and to even stand for you until you when you can't stand for yourself.

But you must say "yes." Yes to yourself first and give yourself permission to be powerful. The revival of your love story does begin with you. It starts with a deep abiding self love that forces you to step up, to invest in yourself even when everyone and everything else is demanding your time and money. This kind of self love will allow you to move in the direction of your heart's longing without guilt and without delay.

I carried my friend's obituary in my purse for weeks and finally took it out right before christmas. On today, after writing this article, I will finally remove her phone number out of my phone and her email address from my data base. She will forever remain in my heart, even though I feel she is gone too soon. She has taught me the greatest lessons about stepping up and about playing big. She taught me how to live my dreams now!

My intention here is not to incite fear, but to inspire passionate action. So in closing, I will say to you what I also said to my friend on the last time we spoke to each other, "it's time to do it now girl. It's time to put yourself first. I will show you how to do it. Let me know when you are ready to get started and we can make it happen." Unfortunately, she never called me back. What about you, will you call me back?

Remember, live authentically, laugh everyday and embrace love as a lifestyle.