The Habit of Self-Deception

What we frequently fail to recognise is that much of the vital interaction and mental self-justification that supports it takes place more or less without active intervention or reflection by the mind. A vital desire or conce
is prodded and the mind instantly jumps to self-justification without any real review of the facts, the circumstances or the balancing interests and other stakeholders in any situation. Afterwards, if challenged, the mind may develop an elaborate set of explanations and justifications, but this all tends to stem from an initial defensive reaction that occurs instantly.

The Mother observes: ”First, one deceives oneself by habit, but even when one begins not to deceive oneself, instinctively there is a movement of trying, trying to deceive oneself in order to feel comfortable. And so a still greater step is necessary once one has understood that one was deceiving oneself, to confess frankly, ‘Yes, I was deceiving myself.’ “

“All these things are so habitual, so automatic, as it were, that you are not even aware of them; but when you begin to want to establish some discipline over your being, you make discoveries which are really tremendously interesting. When you have discovered this, you become aware that you are living constantly in a… the best word is ‘self-deception’, a state of wilful deceit; that is, you deceive yourself spontaneously. It is not that you need to reflect: spontaneously you put a pretty cloak over what you have done so that it doesn’t show its true colours… and all this for things which are so insignificant, which have so little importance! It would be understandable, wouldn’t it, if recognising your mistake had serious consequences for your very existence — the instinct of self-preservation would make you do it as a protection — but that is not the question, it conce
s things which are absolutely unimportant, of no consequence at all except that of having to tell yourself, ‘I have made a mistake.’ “

Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, Our Many Selves: Practical Yogic Psychology, Chapter 6, Some Answers and Explanations, pp. 199-200