The Need to Maintain Calm Equality in One’s Relation to the Circumstances of Life

Someone says or does something we do not like or which we find offensive. They may do things to harm our reputation or our relationships, or they may affect our financial well being, possibly cheat us or interfere with our lives in some other way. The natural reaction is one of anger, even “righteous anger, ” In some cases we feel that our stomach knots up, we lose our peace of mind, we cannot sleep, or we experience other symptoms of anxiety or nervous tension.

We become upset by the actions of others even if they have no direct relation to ourselves. Thus, someone else’s personal life is treated as an affront to us and we can become distraught because of the private life that others may be leading or the different decisions they make on issues of lifestyle, morality, dress, or other factors that in truth do not affect our own lives directly.

Sometimes we become upset because people do things that we believe are simply stupid, counter-productive or harmful. We become upset with the news and the direction our society is taking.

We have endless causes of disturbance to our minds. Religious and spiritual aspirants are not exempt, in fact, the history of religions tells us that someone disrespecting our religion, or our leader or teacher may cause tremendous unrest in the disciples or followers and lead to reactions not only of anger, but rage, hatred and outright violence.

So for a spiritual seeker, there is a practical issue to resolve. How can we gain the standpoint that allows us to observe and maintain a calm equality in the face of these numerous impacts that so easily disturb our peace?

Swami Vivekananda describes a process of observation of the ‘mind-stuff’ and how it begins to vibrate as each impulse or impact is brought before it. He provides, in his lessons on Raja Yoga, deep insight into how the seeker can learn to still the mind stuff and thereby allow receptivity to open up for the spiritual growth to take place. Sri Aurobindo describes the standpoint of the witness consciousness that treats all exte
al events and impacts as part of nature, to be viewed but not to be reacted to as having any relation to one’s inner life. The techniques used by these and other teachers are intended to help us achieve a standpoint of separation and freedom from the immediate reactions.

This is not to say that we abandon life and action; rather, we need to find a way to keep our attention fixed on the deeper truths of existence and treat these outer disturbances as transitory and subject to constant change and modification, and thus, not worth worrying about.

It is said that the Buddha once counseled a disciple that if something takes place about which one cannot do anything, there is no cause to be upset or angry or to otherwise react about it. It is going to happen anyway regardless of one’s reaction. And if something happens that one can do something about, then one should just do it, without anger, without hatred, without the loss of energy and focus that comes with all these reactive responses.

Sri Aurobindo observes: “There are two attitudes that a sadhak can have: either a quiet equality to all regardless of their friendliness or hostility or a general goodwill.”

“… what you should do is to keep your right attitude towards the others and not allow yourself to be upsets, irritated or displeased by anything they may say or do — in other words keep the samata and universal goodwill proper to a sadhak of yoga. If you do that and still others get upset or displeased, you must not mind as you will not be responsible for their wrong reaction.”

Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, Looking from Within, Chapter 2, Looking at Oneself and Others, pp. 42-43