"I just can't do it!" His face was red, he was tearing up and his ego was bruised in that moment. The battle line was now clearly drawn between our 6-year old and his parents.
It all started innocently enough. My wife Nora had attended a nutrition class at our middle son's preschool in the past week. The instructor had discussed that
avocado is considered one of the world's healthiest fruits, because of its nutrient contents such as vitamin K, dietary fiber, potassium, folic acid, vitamin B6, vitamin C, copper, and the reasonable calories in it.
Nora had already talked with me about the importance of our family eating more healthy choices, because in her opinion, I have a habit of treating the kids with pizza, candy and ice cream (feel my look of innocence) on the weekends. The class had obviously convinced her that the time to get started was now.
She made the declaration at breakfast on Saturday morning. While explaining her reasoning, she was putting out a plate that featured tomato's and small slices of avocado. As me and the three boys sat staring at the healthy options in front of all of us, we became as tense as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Where were the pancakes, the syrup and all the usual stuff?!
She simply asked that everyone eat one small slice of this recommended fruit and referenced its reputation as a way to prevent high cholesterol, which leads to heart disease (which happens to run in my family).
I did the right thing and ate my slice immediately to set a good example (and to ensure I wouldn't be in the dog house). The baby tried it too (he's 1 and still open to new foods). We figured that Tyler (the 6-year old) would follow suit, since he already eats just about anything. We assumed the real battle would be with our 4-year old (Will) who has been the "picky eater" and believes that PB&J should be served for every meal.
As Nora and I encouraged the boys to take their turn, something surprising happened; William stepped up, took the piece of avocado and swallowed it in one gulp. It truly shocked us both.
It was Tyler (the kid who eats anything) who wasn't going to have any part of it! He had tried it several years back and decided that he did not like it - so why would today be any different?
When we explained that sometimes you may discover that something you didn't like can actually turn in to something you do like, when you give it another chance, he didn't want to hear it.
He stalled, complained, tried to rationalize with us and concluded that it was impossible for him to like it. When we explained that bowing out wasn't an option - the defenses came out in full effect.
He explained every reason why it wouldn't be possible for him to eat it, he blamed his mom and then me for this torture that was suddenly cast upon him, he cried, he got angry, he even made himself throw up because in his words, which was stated over and over, "I can't do it."
Nora's thoughtful attempt to do something healthy for our family had turned from a couple of minute ideal into a 2-hour experience filled with stress, drama and hurt feelings.
As the time passed, I simply explained to him that the avocado was actually turning into a bigger lesson. All of us can do anything we set our minds to. However, we create these walls within our self. They seem to get higher and higher as you continue to find the ways to avoid climbing them. I don't want to, I can't, it's impossible or whatever. The more you think about why not, it seems you could write a book with all the excuses.
To truly experience life, you have to simply be in the game instead of sitting in the stands. When you are on the court playing; you simply act, react and move forward. When you are on the sidelines, it's easy to become critical of the decisions, choices and ideas and you'll find ways to simply watch things happening in front of you.
There are so many people who sit on the sidelines of life and make excuses for why they can't do something. It's so easy to talk yourself out of it...and there are many allies sitting around you who'll back you up too.
The key is to just do it. Jump in and activate something. If it isn't right, change course and activate something else. When you are playing the game, you are in a zone and avoid over-thinking everything. The "how" it can happen, the obstacles and the fear don't stop you because you are too busy just playing the game. Yes, you will adjust, be flexible, find new paths and discover ideas that you never imagined...but none of it is possible until you get on the court and out of the stands.
The opportunities lost from inaction are often riskier than action.
You know that the best way into a cold swimming pool is not by tiptoe, but by plunge. And there's the significance of knowing that what frightens us can be survived, as my 6-year old learned when he finally calmed down, picked up his fork with the avocado and ate it.
It seems many of us still have a 6-year old living inside of us with certain issues too! He will grow beyond this episode and be better for it - how about you?nn