The Protected Heart

We all protect our heart in one way or another. Maybe we were teased at school, or hurt by someone we once loved. It doesn’t matter how far back the sense of pain goes, it might feel very real today.
It is good to guard your heart against people or situations that might hurt you, but there is a line that you have to watch because you might be over protecting your heart.
If you were hurt by love, chances are you might be afraid to love again, or to love fully again. Everyone can give a certain percentage of themselves, that’s the easy part. If you only show 70% of yourself, and back off the other 30%, you might think you’re doing good, but you’re not. In reality you are not being fair to yourself or your partner. Its equivalent to saying, “you can get close, but not too close.”
Let’s look at things through the 70% rule. Your heart is safely guarded. If anything happens 6 months, 2 years, or 7 years from now, you’re safe. It won’t have a devastating effect on you like it would have if you were giving your whole heart. Sure you’ll be fine if there’s a breakup, but after you’ve had time to sulk because you didn’t give it your “true” all, you will bounce back and carry on. Some will decide if they can truly love someone completely. The 70% person might be easily swayed because they’re not all in, and could be looking for a reason to call it quits more easily. Most importantly, you are ripping yourself off of a life that could be more meaningful and loving. You will always wonder, “what if?” Know yourself and trust your judgment. Not all things are about you…it’s about the other person as well. Please don’t get this confused with someone who does not want to be in a relationship. There are a lot of people in this world who have no desire to be in a relationship for various reasons. They are happy and not to be confused with ones who want a relationship but are not giving it their all.
Now let’s look at the 100% rule. First of all, you are fearless, you dove head and heart first. You are holding nothing back and regardless if things work out or not, you gave it your all. You love the feeling of love and you don’t hold back. Yeah you!
When you fall for someone, sometimes you fall hard, sometimes we hold back and let time take its course. For someone who protects their heart, they have to learn to love and trust love again. The people who are protecting their hearts often times protect others who are dear to them as well. They are very giving, loving souls who can be nurtured past the pain.
It takes two to make it right. If someone gets the feeling that you are holding back, their natural reaction is to hold back as well. This is not a good thing. So, keep loving and trusting in love. One bad apple doesn’t ruin the entire bushel. Sometimes it also forces us to take a good look at ourselves and the choices that we make, and why we make them.
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.~ Lao Tzu