The Road to Wholeness

Having been born in the 60s, I grew up during the time when women were rebelling against their traditional roles.They went to work, got divorced, called for equality and marched for the ERA.

With deep gratitude, I celebrate all of those women who forged the path before me, who brought me to this point. But, today, I see that something was lost along the way. I learned to be so strong, so independent, so accomplished that I stopped needing anyone.

Thinking back to a few years ago, I remember when my toilet suddenly started to flood at 4 a.m. I was down on the floor bailing water, desperate, crying, asking myself, “How did this happen? How did I get here?” I could not fathom how in all my worldliness I was on the floor...alone. I prayed as I cried and asked for guidance. I was ready to change. And, thank God, it was on that day, I learned to be vulnerable.

I was amazed and so thankful when my male neighbors rushed to my rescue to help me in the morning. The help had been there all along, I just could not see it. They asked, confused, "Why didn't you come sooner?" There they were, just waiting for a chance to be needed. Wow!!

I realized, then, that I needed to learn how to ask for help. After that day, many teachers appeared to me. With them, I have been learning what it means to let other people in to contribute to me. I used to think that vulnerability was the same as weakness. It is not the same at all. To be vulnerable means without defenses, not weak. The tough part was in surrendering my sword and accepting the part of myself that had always been hidden.

So through this journey, every day, I take down the walls piece by piece.

And behind the wall, under the armor, deep down, there it was… the Divine Feminine. She is vulnerable, and receptive, and so very strong! She is me. I am her. She was there all the time, waiting to be revealed. What a beautiful surprise!

When I look around me now, I see that feminine energy is like a rare and perfect diamond. Like a flower, it is ready to blossom again. She never died, she just went underground. Today, I feel a call on this planet, clamoring for her expression, clamoring for her love.

The world yearns for the Divine Feminine because it is what nurtures us, holds us, gently guides us, and heals us.

I used to think if could control the outcome and all the pieces, I would be safe. However, being in control never got me what I wanted. It gave me all the outward trappings of success, but left a hole in my heart--a deep emptiness.

When I surrendered to the Divine Feminine and unleashed her, She filled the space and made me whole.
Copyright 2011. All Rights Reserved. MBellopede