***The Secret to Transforming Your Relationship With Money

There’s nothing quite like money to prompt our egos to flare up, get our stomach wrenched in knots and cause us to get instantly reactive and defensive. Some of the ways I’ve seen money struggles arise is when I hear my clients say things like: • “I know I need to be more aware of how much money is in my accounts and what my credit card balances are, but I tell myself I’ll just do it later. That time never comes and before I know it several months have passed and I’m still avoiding gaining clarity around what’s going on with my money.” • “Even though I consider myself to be a spiritual person I constantly doubt myself and my ability to make more money.” • “I’m afraid my current clients will leave and new prospects won’t hire me if I charge more. Yet I know even though I’m not charging enough I’m really good at what I do.” • “I have lots of fear and secrecy around money.” • “My partner drives me crazy every time when it comes to money because he/she doesn’t make enough OR spends too much.” • “I don’t understand why people aren’t responding to what I have to offer.” (This is a very common struggle for entrepreneurs). • “I’m not aligned with my purpose in my business – so that makes it difficult to talk about what I do with potential prospects.” We mistakenly believe that the solution is to buckle down and make ourselves take actions that we know we need to but have been avoiding. For the individual who is afraid to look at their financial numbers, they think the solution is to force themselves to open their bank statements, credit card balances their checking account balances on a consistent basis. For the spouse who is getting reactive with their partner around the issue of overspending or under-earning it seems like the solution is to have a conversation with their loved one and communicate their feelings and make a clear request. For the person who isn’t in alignment with their work, it seems like the solution is to simply get some clarity around what it is that they want to do and then start doing it. Most of us actually know exactly what we should do when it comes to money However, the solution actually isn’t that simple or straightforward… most people already know exactly what they need to do but they still avoid doing it. It’s just not enough to KNOW what to do. The same analogy can be applied to loosing weight. The solution is actually quite simple - we need to eat less and exercise more. But how many people consistently do that when it comes to loosing weight? In a burst of motivation and excitement they get on a health routine only to find themselves quitting as soon as the initial excitement is gone. We can force ourselves to do something that we aren’t genuinely inspired and committed to doing for only so long. As soon as we loose our will power we stop taking the action. The same thing happens when it comes to money. To create lasting financial transformation in our lives we need to look more deeply at our behavior and beliefs. Our money struggles provide us with constant feedback and insight into “who we’re being” moment-by-moment in our lives. I had one client who desperately wanted to get rid of her debt and make enough money to easily pay her bills. She ran her own business and each morning she felt like she hit the ground running with a deep sense of urgency and panic. She had to muster up the energy and motivation to make it through another day so she could make enough money to get through another month. One way to get clear as to “who you’re really being” when it comes to money is to notice your internal conversations about your particular financial situation. These internal conversations always provide a direct pointer as to who we’re being moment by moment in our lives. Although we think they are simply describing the facts about our situation what they are actually doing is informing our behaviors and literally shaping our experience of each moment. This client told me, “I feel angry and resentful about my financial situation. And I feel so hopeless and overwhelmed. I feel like I’ll never get myself out of this financial mess.” Notice how you perceive your financial situation She experienced her financial situation as being hopeless and overwhelming. And until she was able to perceive it in a new light any kind of action that she chose to take would be ineffective. Through our work together she experienced a huge breakthrough. “My situation isn’t actually hopeless at all… I’ve been telling myself that because I didn’t want to take responsibility. It was actually easier for me to stay stuck in blaming my situation and my spouse than it was to get into action. I can see now if I had continued to believe my financial situation was hopeless that I would’ve never felt inspired to take any kind of action that would’ve made a lasting difference.” After this new awareness she quickly and easily moved into effective financial action. She completely paid off all her debt, skyrocketed beyond barely making enough money to pay the monthly bills to significantly boosting her income and was eventually able to put ample amounts away in emergency savings and her retirement account. Not only that but she now experiences a deep sense of security and has extra money for fun things (like vacation and travel). Instead of forcing herself to take an action that would have been uninspired and ineffective she first had to create a breakthrough around how her situation was occurring for her. This can be a tricky challenge for most of us. It’s human nature to cling to our limited, narrow ways of perceiving our life situations. And it’s very difficult to see them in any other light. While we think that we’re providing ourselves an honest assessment of our situation what we’re actually experiencing, however, is a land mine of limiting beliefs, perceptions and interpretations. Einstein said, “Problems can not be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.” By genuinely perceiving our situation in a new way then we are able to regain access to our personal power and inspired action will naturally follow. This is what becomes possible for us when we live a life where our money choices and actions arise from a place of clarity, creativity and inspiration.