The Secret to True Love

Last year on Valentines Day, I went with three girlfriends to Santa Rosa dressed to the nines. We were headed to a Professional Singles Society event. Within three feet of walking into the Flamingo Resort in Santa Rosa, we saw that there were only ten people there, all over the age of sixty, and only one male. I left the premise depressed as we headed towards Petaluma.

There we were- four attractive single women sitting at a Taqueria in Petaluma on Valentines Day, trying to connect but with no one to connect to. This year, if you are finding yourself single on Valentines Day, and you have this empty feeling inside because you are not with someone, be rest assured that you are not just okay – you are sexy and amazing. Make it your mission to really be with yourself and have fun!

Most of us don’t want to be alone. In fact, many of us suffer a lot just to not be alone. We focus so much of our thoughts and time on our desire to be loved and to love. However, the relationship that we all so often overlook is the one we have with ourselves. So, let’s start there.
What does it take to be okay with yourself? Every person has their issues, their point of pain and insecurities. Here are my suggestions for making 2012 the hottest year yet.

Start by doing things for yourself that you like. Ask yourself, what do I love doing that I am not doing now? Don’t let not being in relationship keep you from doing things in your life. I always like going to coffee shops by myself, bringing my laptop, and working beside a nicely brewed cup of coffee. And don’t limit yourself- why not take the dream vacation that you always wanted?

When you are exploring these new possibilities for happiness in your life, also take the time to really be within yourself. Learn who you are and what you like. Find the strength to start healing and freeing those parts of yourself that are stuck and in pain. Discover the secret to true love by starting to become your own best friend.

A spiritual master once said, that if people spent just five percent of the energy they spend on relationships seeking god, they would achieve true happiness. This 2012, focus your love on yourself. It may be hard to do at first. The emptiness inside feels so huge. But keep trying, and slowly watch your heart expand and grow.