Thoughts on suicide

[Following is a blog entry I wrote about a year ago, in a personal blog I titled "Notes to Self." I submit it here for digestion and discussion...]

Note to Self:

Thoughts of suicide occur only to the sane.

In fact, I submit that it may be the one true mark of sanity.

Anyone who is even half paying attention and endeavouring to see clearly, to truly understand this world, must at some point reach the state of absolute desperation with the crazy world of humans, and want out.

This insane world constructed by human thought, human greed and lust for power, cannot be changed (at least, not at a rate that will make any significant difference in this one life); it can only be endured.

It is an act of absolute sanity to refuse to play this stupid game any longer.

And it is an act of absolute bravery to decide to stay.

That's not to say that those who leave by their own hand are not brave. Suicide takes courage. It is simply to say that it is as hard to stay as it is to leave. To stay is to agree to live in this insane world, knowing that we cannot change any part of it, other than ourselves.

That is the only thing I have any power over: myself.

I hope that, by staying and making it my mission to get to the bottom of things, to better understand life, and learn to live it on my terms, I may make life a little better for someone else.

And even if no-one else benefits, I will, because I will finally be free of the constraints placed on me by the crazy human society in which I continue to live. I become free. And, curiously, more alive.

By the way, nobody is qualified to be giving advice to others on suicide who have never had a suicidal thought themselves.It is just more craziness, and cruel as well, to be casting indictments on actions you don't understand in the least.

I've often heard it said that suicide is crazy/immature/bad/wrong because it is "a permanent solution to a temporary problem." What utter nonsense! It is not a temporary problem to find oneself not fitting in to society's crazy "norms." And it is not a temporary problem to be absolutely appalled at what passes for "normal" in our society.

No; let's not add that burden to the load of those struggling under the enormous weight of a spirit in crisis. Better instead to listen to us "crazy people"; we are your spiritual compass. Ignore our desperate warnings at your individual and collective peril.