Trick Or Treat

Since October is the month of Halloween, Irongeezelle thought it might be apropos to provide a mixed bag of morsels, most tasty and most foul: News bites, sound bites, thought bites. You name it. What they have in common is that they are all non-fattening, even while some are frighteningly decadent, and others heartwarmingly delicious. You decide which is which for you. Irongeezelle has sorted her bag of tricks and treats. Ready to partake, either with distain or pleasure?

Tricks:

1. When first reading about Yoga for Dogs, I thought, “Okay, enough already.” The dogs I have known, and no, I am not speaking figuratively here, but literally, needed no dog pose to be enlightened. For Sirius’ sake, they are DOGS; they teach us, not we them, how to live in the moment, breathe deep, enjoy a belly rub, and roll over for a good nap without worries. But okay, I can let it go, after all, many of us, me included have substituted ‘dog’ for kids, and while our friends with kids have to over schedule their kids to prove parental worth and ensure future economic viability of said child starting from diaperhood on, we, dog owners cannot fall behind in the nurturing rat race. So, there are play-dates, massage therapy, thousands of toy and food choices, and spas for dogs. Meanwhile, the dogs like the kids are getting neurotic – no wonder, if you were never allowed to be what you are, either a kid or a dog, and now, we are not only medicating the kids with drugs like they were candy, but we are mood-altering dogs as well – no, really. The pharmaceutical companies are spending lots of effort in creating and selling anti-depressant and other “Dr. Feel-Good” drugs for pets. And think, we could be spending that effort and money on something like eradication of parasitic infections in humans…but hey, that’s so third world and they are not our kids, or our dogs; they should be so lucky.

2. Whiter does not mean dazzling. Bigger does not mean brainy. Smoother does not mean sharp. Hmm. That is intellectually speaking – whiter teeth, teeth so white they blind with their artifice do not dazzle the listener with intellect flowing forth, but make her focus on the teeth, pondering, “Wow, those are as white as white-out. Are they capped? Are they dentures?” Same point, different body part: inflationary pectorals. Recently overheard a gent say this about that: “Yeah, I look, but then I wonder, why would you want to be known as a pair of ….!” Well, you can fill that blank. Unless, it is reconstructive, breast augmentation is elective, and electing to inflate your brain with lofty thoughts may be more expansive for your self-esteem than a pair of implanted falsies. Same goes for lines, wrinkles, creases and crumples. If you want smooth skin, stay out of the sun, if you must, but any other attempt to ward off adulthood and keep that perpetually even, flat, persona-free baby skin is futile. Your hands will show your age, your neck, your weight, but mostly your attitude. And it is self-indulgent. Okay, I am not against self-indulgence. Indulge: Read a book, laugh with friends, have a meaningful conversation, take a nap, mediate. The most serenely faced older people I have known always glowed from the inside out, not the other way around. Stress-free contentment is Mother Nature’s cosmetic enhancement. But okay, if you must, go ahead, do it: get whiter, get bigger, get smoother, but for Venus’ sake must we really have plastic surgery for our privates, too: Becoming a virgin surgically is weird on so many levels. Meanwhile we gasp with outrage, rightly so, when in certain nations women are maimed for life, getting customarily circumcised, while some here choose to indulge in vaginal surgeries to enhance the appearance of labial lips. Wow! That’s depraved.

3. Making choices. Selecting everything from a doctor to mustard. We all make selections, and we all have to live with them. Some choices are more critical than others. For instance, when we choose a person, and yes, we they don’t, although usually when there are people involved, the choice matters. Whatever the situation calls for, you choose, sometimes with more or less success, depending on your criteria. But choosing a candidate for anything, someone who is a “token” of any age, creed, color, sex, look is almost always wrong. We are all so much more than our sex, our age, our color, or our creed – our exterior. Basically, we are all humans with follies and foibles with strengths, experiences, and abilities. And those are the characteristics we should base our choices on. That makes choosing any person based on a laundry-list of attributes, and not based intellectual or emotional accomplishments, not an intelligent choice, because the exte
al attributes are limiters. That is, choosing someone who is not qualified for the position, no matter what, because he or she fits a quota, an image or appeases another individual, a group, and even ourselves. Yes, dating services are great, but they often base their matches on some false values, match with this that, and it will be ideal. And you thought, I was talking about the election, didn’t you? No, on second thought, maybe I am.

Treats:

There are so many treats in our lives, it is difficult to pinpoint a few. It starts with waking up. No, really, that’s the first treat of the day. Just think, what a trick it would be, if you didn’t. We are free to speak our mind (see above). We are of sound mind (sort of) and body (mostly). We have a roof over our head. We can exercise in a safe environment. We have heated swimming pools that are open year around. We have green spaces. We have access to books, music, movies – all free at the library. Notice, I did not mentio
TV – that’s more of a trick, and not the magical kind either. We have literally 1000’s of food choices that can be a trick or a treat. We have relatively clean water and air. We are able to be anything we want to be, depending how badly we want it. We are indeed living a charmed life – and those are some of the big things. There are so many small and wondrous things each day that are treats: rabbits ducking under our gate in the evening, cigar smells on a walk that stir up fond remembrances of a time past, birds nesting right outside the window, and always a sunset and sunrise. Lately though, the Beijing Olympics were a special morsel: A fantastic, magical display of color, sight and sound in the opening and closing ceremonies. Among the athletes, it was truly the “thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.” For the Chinese people, a triumph of organization and seamless spectacle of a culture steeped in tradition, but firmly grounded in the 21st century. Yes, there are some problems in China, but until we have our own house in perfect harmony, we best not tell other cultures what they should do in theirs to achieve perfection.
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