Turbulence

Two years ago, after a month of traveling, I boarded a red-eye flight from Califo
ia to return home to Massachusetts. Although I had a connecting flight, I imagined being able to sleep most of the way. My first flight to Dallas was uneventful, just like you hope for. The connecting flight from Dallas however, was not.

About an hour into the 3 ½ hour flight, in seemingly perfect weather, my plane started to shake and be tossed uncontrollably in the jet stream. I’ve certainly experienced turbulence before while flying, but nothing like this. The pilot attempted several quick maneuvers to avoid it, but to no avail. We were told not to leave our seats under any circumstances, and to keep our seatbelts fastened. The flight attendants remained in their seats, as well. For the next two hours, we had virtually no relief from the constant thrashing about of the plane. Other than the loud racket of carry-on luggage banging in the overhead storage compartments, you could hear a pin drop from the passengers on board.

I prayed for a full two hours non-stop. I prayed for the plane. I prayed to live. I prayed for the pilot, the passengers, and the skies to quiet. I prayed for peace, calm, knowingness. I prayed for faith. I prayed for everything I could think of, in every way I could pray.

Several times, I had morbid thoughts of the plane being torn apart, or plummeting through the sky and crashing, and I would quickly erase the thoughts and start over, praying for peace. I prayed every imaginable form of prayer from the begging and beseeching prayer, to the bargaining prayer, to my most commonly used affirmative prayer and finally to the “this is not happening to me” denial prayer.

It must sound funny, but denial prayers are powerful. Saying “No, I will not accept this experience for myself”, or “No, I will not go down this road in my Consciousness”, has saved me on many occasions. I often say, that our beliefs are what form our experience. Therefore, where we dwell in our thoughts, and subsequent feelings is critical.

I found myself literally battling my own thoughts, swinging between the morbid ones, to the positive thoughts, and to everything in between. “Make a decision”, I remember thinking. “Choose a side already!” But my fear would not subside.

I battled until I became completely exhausted and surrendered. Then something gave way in me, and for a single moment, I felt absolutely no fear.

I had touched something very deep inside, a place that was beyond the physical, and that was completely un-harmable. I knew this place. It was oddly familiar to me, and in it I knew I would be alright, no matter what happened, even if I was to die on that plane.

A peace that goes beyond all human understanding came over me. I glimpsed my ete
al connection to all Life. I was Free.

The plane continued to be tossed violently, but I no longer was. My experience from that moment forward changed. I’m not going to say that I enjoyed it, but I will say it no longer had any power over me.

Just minutes before we landed, we got our only other communication from the pilot. He said that it was the worse turbulence that he and his co-pilot had experienced in 15 years, the worst in their career flying. Mine too.

When the plane finally landed, and I made it into the terminal, I cried tears of gratitude for my life, for the power to see beyond all human experiences, and for touching the place within me that is always rock solid, anchored, fully awake, un-shakable, un-botherable, un-harmable and which stretches far beyond my physical life on planet earth. This is the same place that connects us all.

Just days after my return home, the Haiti earthquake struck. Like many, I had been watching the stories coming out of the rescue effort. I couldn’t help but notice a common denominator in several of the stories about survivors that were pulled from the rubble days and even weeks afterwards. When interviewed, each one said they were not afraid. They knew they would be found alive. One woman was even singing while they were pulling her out. Her song was “Do not be afraid of death”.

If and when Turbulence occurs in your life, whether it’s an illness or something else, just know, there is that place within you right now that is more real than anything else. It can never leave you or forsake you, and it will love you, comfort you, guide you, and see you through, come what may. I believe this to be the place, that when touched, brings about a complete healing. Give it your full attention and the turbulence before you will become powerless.

To the Truth that Sets Us All Free,

Donna Gershman ALSP