Understand How Your Values Affect How You Play Golf

My main purpose in helping you to understand your ‘Values’ is to bring awareness to you that the ‘values’ (or rules) by which you live your life will most likely be different to those of your playing partner.

Your interpretation of say the value of ‘honesty’ is not necessarily how others see this value. We all have our own ways of expressing our values that may not be in line with those around us.

This awareness is important for two reasons:
- To understand that when you sometimes experience irritating behaviour from your playing partners, it is not firstly not within your control to make them see things the way you do, and usually it’s not personal. It is simply the way they live their lives; their values; their rules.
- By not playing golf in line with your OWN value system is the first step on the rocky road to becoming stressed and agitated. You will already know instinctively what feels right, what you value most, but what you are probably not aware of is that when you make a decision which goes against a strong value it will affect how you behave. This in turn will affect your actions and the consequence of this process is you will end up feeling stressed.

When we honour our values on a regular basis, life is good, life is fulfilling. But, when we dishonour our values, life becomes stressful.

Your values are what you consider to be your most important ‘RULES’ and these are what you follow in order to live your life. Your values will also be the main driver to how you play your game of golf.

What you ‘value’ determines what life means to you and what actions you take.

This is never more so true than on the golf course.

So let’s take this word RULES –

We behave in a certain way and we get stressed when we believe people are not honouring what we see as obvious values or RULES. Here are some examples:
• A playing partner who keeps getting in your line of vision.
• A playing partner making a distracting noise of any description – messing with their bag, change in their pocket, chatting just before you are about to play a shot.
• A playing partner offering their opinion on how you are playing when you haven’t actually asked for it!
• Someone cheating by not counting all their shots.

I am sure some of these examples will ring a bell with you and that you probably could add to the list. How frustrating is it though when someone behaves like any of these examples? But remember what I said earlier – the fact we think that people should not behave in a certain way is down to OUR OWN PERSONAL RULES.

You know you would be more considerate because your value of RESPECT would not allow you to knowingly make a noise or stand in someone’s eye line or make someone feel bad about him- or herself. The problem is your playing partners are simply playing by their rules and are often oblivious to their behaviour OR they may well be trying to wind you up as tactics to win! Their VALUE OF WINNING may be stronger than their value of respect. For you CARING and RESPECT maybe more important and it will be difficult for you to understand why someone might be so insensitive to how you feel.

ESSENTIALLY WHAT ALL THIS AWARENESS IS GOING TO DO FOR YOU IS HELP YOU TO UNDERSTAND WHY OTHERS DO WHAT THEY DO!

You then have two choices –
1. You allow it to interfere with your game
2. You accept that they do not share your values and you dismiss it and do not let it bother you
ULTIMATELY by allowing other people’s behaviour or THEIR RULES to get under your skin will only undermine your confidence and have a detrimental affect on how you play.

The process works as follows: you can then make the choice to change your beliefs to positive ones, get a better understanding of your values or YOUR RULES so you play your golf in line with what personally motivates you. In turn this will have a really positive effect on your confidence, your self-esteem and how you play golf.

OR you continue to allow people and events that you cannot control to undermine how you play.

What if …you have now become so interested in creating such an understanding of yourself and how you tick that you can now make a choice to not allow someone else’s behaviour to influence your reactions to the detriment of your game; just because they are playing by THEIR RULES.

What if…you feel so comfortable with who you are, what you value, that by the time you pick up your golf club to play your next round it is as easy as changing gear in your car.

THIS IS HOW BY BEHAVING IN LINE WITH YOUR VALUES YOU CAN PLAY STRESS FREE AND CONFIDENT GOLF.