We Must First Love Ourselves

Experiencing change helps us to engage and see where and how we have been living our lives. We face so many challenges and the ones that hurt the most are those which affect us personally.

Relationship hurt affects us all differently! Some people can recover quickly and move on to the next stage in their life, while others are emotionally overwhelmed and will choose to stay in that particular place. They will continue to question and torture themselves as to why and how, this has happened. They’ll go over in their head every single thing that has ever been said to them during the relationship (eg . how much I was loved or I never thought in my wildest dream that something like this would happen to us).

Whilst searching for the answer, they would need to look deep within themselves to resolves their thoughts. Emotions are a thing that gets the better of us, and it is how we as individuals choose to deal with the situation at hand in order to heal and move forward with our lives.

Speaking to different sources over a period of time, I notice that when emotions are heightened, it creates fear, self doubt, low self esteem and more importantly rejection of not being loved. During my session with a number of clients, I have noticed a significant increase of young women who are so desperately longing to be loved. And my advice each and every time is LOVE YOURSELF FIRST AND FOREMOST and by doing that; it will be reciprocated back to you. Some find it hard to comprehend, because they shut themselves down and refuse to take on board the advice given to them.

During my research, I have found that a significant number of people hold onto the past, to remind them of the pain and loveless situation they have been in for a number of years. In the face of adversity, they continue to carry the excess baggage from the previous relationship around with them. Trust becomes an issue and the heart is closed not allowing anyone in because of fear. If someone should come into their lives, they may end up blowing hot and cold, distancing themselves and sometimes even going into their shell). During this time the other person may feel rejection and perhaps thoughts of walking away, because of the uncertainty and not knowing where they stand. It may even end up in situation where they end up losing the person who cared and understood the very nature of what they are going through. In order to attract and keep the right relationship, we must look at healing the past and leaving it where it is in order to move forward with life.

Again from my research, I have noticed some clients found it easier to seek help from mediums/psychics or friends to make the decision for them, in as much as how to move forward with their lives. They come back time and time again asking the same questions, looking for that someone outside of themselves to provide them with the answers. You listen to their heartfelt plea, and the ONE thing that clear is that they are waiting to be rescued by the knight in shining armour. This knight in shining armour they believe will be the answer to their prayers and desires. Unfortunately this is not a Hollywood movie , not everyone will be swept off their feet by this elusive knight.

My advice is to try and empower the client, to ask them take back the control. They must first start to look at the very reason how they got themselves into this situation, and believe that they can become better individuals by changing their thought patterns. The universe has a tendency to give back what we give out. It may take time and for some therapy to change attitudes, all depending on the severity of the problem.

It’s important that love does not become overwhelming, as this can push the other person away. Some may even use this vulnerability to their own advantage by playing with the person’s emotion which can have a detrimental effect on their emotional stability

It takes a strong individual to admit that they have a problem and want to get the help that is needed to move forward with their life. This seems to be a common problem in our society, where people are constantly looking for answers exte
ally and neglect the very place they are likely to find them - inside themselves. This delving could ultimately lead to self-love surely a prerequisite to loving another?

Beatrice X