We Tend to Take Ourselves Too Seriously

Seriously, we get all wound up about things that have no real significance in the larger picture of life. Whether it is someone cutting in front of us in a queue or on the road, or whether someone says something about us which we do not like, we tend to get revved up and stew on what happened. In issues that have some relevance to our daily lives, we become even more fixated on what we desire to see happen. And if we turn to politics, religion or economic theory, we are in many cases ready to kill to uphold our favoured viewpoint. Seriously, we get into a narrow, rigid, solemn state of mind when we are confronted with defending whatever beliefs we have incorporated into our minds, whether based in fact or not.

It is a sign of some amount of maturity and inner growth for people to begin to recognise that there are differing views and ways of addressing issues, and that our own viewpoints must be taken “with a grain of salt”, so to speak.

When someone takes up the religious or the spiritual life, he begins to examine his each and every thought, emotion, feeling and reaction. He judges them based on the rules and guidelines he is provided by whatever faith or specific practice he is following. Of course, he cannot control 100% of all of these things and thus, spots variances between his internal reaction and the rules he wants to adhere to. These, in some cases very small, things become enormous issues and, with the tendency of taking oneself to seriously that infects humanity generally, he begins to tell himself that he is a failure, that he is not cut out for the spiritual life, or that there is something wrong with the teaching he is following. It is for such instances that Sri Aurobindo and the Mother counsel the seeker to smile at the circumstances and just keep going on. A dose of cheerfulness, combined with patience and perseverance is the general cure for such a state.

The Mother notes: “… the more you advance, the more vigilant must you become. And the most essential quality is perseverance, endurance, and a… what shall I call it? — a kind of inner good humour which helps you not to get discouraged, not to become sad, and to face all difficulties with a smile. There is an English word which expresses this very well — cheerfulness. If you can keep this within you, you fight much better, resist much better, in the light, these bad influences which try to hinder you from progressing.”

“A smile acts upon difficulties as the sun upon clouds — it disperses them.”

“Someone who knows how to smile in all circumstances is very close to true equality of soul.”

“Generally speaking, man is an animal who takes himself terribly seriously. To know how to smile at oneself in all circumstances, to smile at one’s sorrows and disillusions, ambitions and sufferings, indignation and revolt — what a powerful weapon with which to overcome oneself!”

“Learn to smile always and in all circumstances; to smile at your sorrows as well as your joys, your sufferings as well as your hopes, for in a smile there is a sovereign power of self-mastery.”

Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, Looking from Within, Chapter 5, Attitudes on the Path, pp. 142-143