What Is Family Of Origin Work?

I've been asked this question enough times that I decided to expand on the topic in this article. Therapists will likely have slightly different interpretations of what it is - and how to go about doing the therapy work itself. My definition of "family of origin work" in it's simplest form is, "healing from our past to be able to move forward in the present." I have found with my own clients - time and time again - that a range of emotional/mental health problems can be connected to the person's family of origin experiences with parents, primary care-givers and/or families in general. Anxiety, depression, anger, fear and recurrent relationship problems are often tied up in unresolved issues from the past. It is an area of great passion for me to help people move through their old wounds and successfully re-adjust their lens on life to one of clarity and hope.

Who might benefit from family of origin work?

People who might benefit from this type of work are those who experienced a number of different situations in the past that are keeping them from living fulfilling and peaceful lives in the present. These "situations" usually occurred early in life - though can continue in various patterns straight through to adulthood.

Examples of problematic situations occurring earlier in life include:nn-Childhood Trauma (physical, sexual or emotional abuse)nn-Critical or harsh parentling styles in childhood nn-Rejecting or dismissing parenting styles in childhoodnn-Living in a chaotic, fear-based environment in childhood nn-Witnessing a volatile, high-conflict relationship between your parents

What Might I Expect if I Wanted to Do Family of Origin Work?

Again, therapists will all have their own unique approaches - but my family of origin work in therapy involves an exploration of the past, understanding of how the past might have impacted you on an emotional level, identifying any unhelpful core beliefs you may have developed about yourself, others and the world - and changing these unhelpful core beliefs. I find that these "unhelpful core beliefs" often underly some depression, anxiety, fear, anger and relationship problems. I also teach cognitive-behavioral tools (changing your thinking to impact your feeling and behavior) to maintain these changes.

Some Final Thoughts about Family of Origin Work

I am very passionate about the power of doing this kind of therapy - particularly for those who feel stuck. People who feel "stuck" usually know who they are - they've probably felt "stuck" a long time. Your type of "stuck" might appear different than the next person's - but at the end of the day, something is keeping you from feeling content in your own skin or in relationship to someone else.

I also believe that Family of Origin work may not necessarily be the answer for everyone. Like I said previously, you probably know instinctively whether your current emotional or psychological issues might be rooted in the past. If you're considering doing this kind of work, I encourage you to seek the guidance of a therapist specializing in this area. You CAN shape the present and future that you deserve!

It's important for me to make mention of someone whose work I'm highly influenced by - John Bradshaw. He has written numerous books on the topics of Family of Origin injuries, toxic shame and more. I highly recommend his book, "Healing the Shame That Binds You" to explore the possible impact of your experiences, how they might have shaped you - and how to heal.