Article

What Is This Thing Called Forgiveness?

Written by Alison Rose Levy

Topic: ForgivenessPublished October 2, 2009
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The nation looks on in horror at the interminable orgy of true confessions from Governor Sanford -- voluntarily decimating his political career by bogarting a spotlight rightfully passed to recently departed celebrities. Any psychologically aware person must ask: Why?

Were the constraints of being in a suffocatingly correct marriage so painful that poor Governor Sanford had to process his feelings with the only safe people he knew -- reporters and the press?

Hello, hadn't he ever heard of psychotherapy? Counseling? That's what it's for.

Do they offer that South of the Mason-Dixon Line? I hope so for his sake.

Because it's clear that getting down on his knees with his spiritual advisor and his wife wasn't cutting it. It was just not soothing the wounded beast within. In fact, it was making the wounded beast crazier. So what would a bona fide marital therapist do with this hapless pair?

Let's imagine.

So you know, Governor and Mrs. Sanford, let's talk about it, shall we? How are you feeling?

Saved in Christ? Good, that's good. But how are you really feeling?

So, Governor, I'm not sure about your priorities and intentions here. Are you trying to save your marriage? Your political career? Or are you setting yourself up for a juicy book deal?

While you contemplate that, Governor, Mrs. Sanford, let me ask you a few questions.

Have you forgiven your husband? Have you really forgiven him? I mean really?

Or is this one of those special kinds of forgiveness.

First, let me say that there is such a thing as genuine forgiveness.

And then there is the, ahem, "mixed agenda" kind -- the I "forgive you for my own sake not for yours because I don't want to carry your sorry ass around any more in my psyche" kind.

Then, there's the "I'm better than you because I forgave you, but all my forgiveness will not wash away your sins, you SOB" kind of forgiveness.

And there is the forgiveness of manipulation -- "Well, I forgave you. So you're not wiggling out of this to go be with your Latin sweetie, and you'll have to be the one that gets to look bad by asking for a divorce from the long suffering mother of your children. How's that for payback, my husband, the governor?"

So which kind of forgiveness, is it, Mrs. Sanford?

You don't know. But you've forgiven him and will keep on forgiving him.

You know, I'm going to make a referral. Maybe the two of you should try a different religion, one where you could go to confession and never get a divorce. At least it would be private.

What was that, Governor? Oh, you'd rather take the book deal.

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Intent.com Intent.com is a premier wellness site and supportive social network where like-minded individuals can connect and support each others' intentions. Founded by Deepak Chopra's daughter Mallika Chopra, Intent.com aims to be the most trusted and comprehensive wellness destination featuring a supportive community of members, blogs from top wellness experts and curated online content relating to Personal, Social, Global and Spiritual wellness.

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