What Mask Are You Wearing? How to Become Your Authentic Self!

Who are you? What do you do? These are common questions as we go about our daily lives.

These are very difficult questions for many people who are currently unemployed, newly retired, 'stay at home' Moms, and so on. In today's society, we place so much value on what we do - our label, if you will.

As women, we typically grow up as 'people pleasers'. We lose sight of who we are, really; if, in fact, we ever figured it out! As women, also, we tend to compare the inside of us to the outside of everyone else. That needs to stop. Everyone has a story and most people are wearing their own mask.

There is a level of existence called our 'authentic self'. It is the YOU that can be found at your very core. It has nothing to do with our job, our function, our role in life. But rather, it is the combination of all our natural talents, gifts, wisdom, skills and so on. But many of us go through life not knowing or believing that we are good enough. So, we put on our mask - you know the one - for when we:

* Deal with certain family members

* Interact with business associates

* Attend social events

This is our fictional self. We take on this persona and go through our daily lives wearing one mask after another. Along with this, we teach people how to treat us. You may have found it easier to live your life this way.

But living life this way drains you of the critical identity and energy that you need to reach your goals and your dreams. I was the 'people pleaser' in my family. My father would often call on me to 'make things better' among the siblings. (I am sure that many of you can relate to this!) When my father passed away, many years ago, I buried all my masks with him. I made a conscious decision that day to begin to live an authentic, effective, progressive life - to use my talents and gifts and become the person I was meant to be in this life. My father often told me to "be happy with what you have", "don't get too big for your britches' - and so I lived a 'small' life. He meant well and I loved him dearly! But having worked with cognitive techniques for the past 20 years, I have learned that there is so much more to living a full life and that's what I wanted. And, as Maya Angelou says, 'when yo u know better, you do better'!