When Others Put You Second

What do you do when others think they are more important than you? How do you deal with people who always put themselves first? It seems like there is always someone who believes they deserve more than others. It is not just that they put themselves first, but it is that they put you second. This can feel horrible and be very hard to deal with. How do you balance out the conflict and find a resolution when it is probably someone you relate to often, maybe even someone important to you? First, it is valuable to remember that they are not more important than you. Sometimes if we think too little of ourselves, this can create an imbalance and enable the other person to keep on behaving as they do. What is most important is how you feel within when these moments happen. For no matter how you try to explain or change this other person, it may be impossible to do so. They will or may never change depending on their own choices. But as the individual who must deal with this kind of situation, you need to know how to deal with it and how to relate to it. If you can come from a place of seeing yourself on the same level as this other person, it will not affect you as much internally. If you realize this other person is really trying to make up for an imbalance within themselves, you might understand their behavior more. Seeing that they are coming from a place of unhappiness and discontent which they are trying to replace may help you. Their worth is no more important than yours and how they are behaving, although it may be wrong, is what they are doing and you cannot change or alter it. What you can do is to let the effect of their behavior go as soon as you feel it. By holding onto the anger, resentment, or emotions brought on by them, you are only hurting yourself; you are not affecting them in any way with this result. Sometimes we like to think if we are mad at this other person, then they will see how bad they have been. But does this really help or change the situation? Not really, it only continues the cycle you are involved in. For your sake, an acknowledgment of their internal situation may help you accept their behavior. Understanding that your response to them is what is affecting you will also help. If you can see that how they are acting is a response to their issue and has nothing to do with you, it can help you let it go. Letting go of your response, the feeling they create in you, is what will help you deal with the situation. Remember, the only thing you can change is how you feel because they are not under your control. No matter how wrong it is or how mad you feel, you can only help yourself by really seeing what is happening within the other person and by allowing yourself to let go of how you usually respond to them.