When People Think You're a Show-Off...

"Nobody likes a show-off!"

Have you ever heard that before? Usually it's said to small children who are bragging or trying to get attention but it's drummed into us from a young age to be like everyone else and not think we're special.

As an adult, you may have noticed that when great things happen to you, not everyone is so... thrilled about it. In fact, some people go out of their way to actively make you feel bad about sharing your good fortune.

In Australia, it's known as the Tall Poppy syndrome where you will get cut down if you stand out too much from everyone else. Other cultures might have their own names for it, but the sentiment is the same. Don't be too different.

I recently I got an email from someone saying I was a show-off for talking about my new car (albeit second hand) and laptop on Facebook. It seemed that she was more comfortable hearing about when things went wrong in my life, instead of things that I was happy and proud about. It made her feel uncomfortable, as if I were judging her.

It's not the first time I've heard this so it stung a little. It reminded me of being at school when I got a great mark on a test or when something spectacular and unbelievable has happened. When I was a kid, someone made fun of me for saying "Do you have any condiments?" instead of saying "tomato sauce"!

Well, I'm not going to stop sharing my good news with others and neither should you. You see, I love constantly upgrading my life. I'm not competitive about it but I love to share my successes just as much as my failures.

If you've been reading my emails or had some coaching with me, chances are that some things in your life might be changing too. Some people have written to me about pay increases, big auditions, awesome opportunities and new ideas that led to their whole business changing.

In fact, at least once a day I get an email starting with "Denise - you're never going to guess what happened?!" It's very exciting! (So, keep 'em coming please!)

But sometimes, my clients share the news with friends, colleagues and their partner with the good news and occasionally their reaction can make them feel bad.

I've also realised that women especially hold themselves back from even achieving success because they are worried about the potential response, such as:

Who do you think you are?

You think you're so smart!

Too big for your boots now, are you?

Chances are it won't happen, but the fear is very real and can stop you from playing big from fear of alienating friends or being different.

But they are just jealous!

It's true, it can be jealousy. It's a normal human reaction to want what someone else has. You may have triggered an insecurity in them or they have an underlying belief that they don't deserve good things in their life, so they are transferring those uncomfortable feelings over to you.

Here's the problem - someone is always going to think you're a show-off no matter the level of success you achieve. So, don't hold back on being successful. So what if going for your dreams puts you in the spotlight?

Just remember this famous quote:
What other people think of you,
is none of your business.

The best thing you can do is to surround yourself with positive people, work with someone like a coach on your goals and dreams or just decide to shout your success from the rooftops!

Be proud!