Where is my Happiness?

One of the most common questions I get asked as a meditation teacher is "why cant I be happy?"

Or "how do I find happiness?"

Happiness seems to be one of the most elusive experiences for many people, and yet its always there right inside of us.

So what is happiness and where is it found, and why is it so elusive for some?
Well, there are two sources of happiness.

One exte
ally and one internally.

There's out-come oriented happiness and self-referred happiness.
Out-come oriented happiness is a happiness that is derived from "out-comes".
It's a sunny day.
You get a new job.
You buy a new dress.
Someone likes your smile.
You take a holiday.
Someone says they love you.
These events occur in the realm of relativity that trigger the feeling of being happy.

They are fluctuating, are inconsistent, and not always occurring. As a result, so to is our happiness fluctuating, inconsistent and not always occurring.
One problem lies in that its not always a sunny day, you might lose your job, your dress will get old and outdated, or the someone that says they love you might not say it any more.

For some people, the dilemma of this inconsistent happiness is worsened if they have been experiencing fight or flight symptoms for an extended period of time.

Fight or flight is a stress response that kicks in when we are faced with life threatening situations. This is known as your sympathetic nervous system. What occurs here, is the body reduces the production of seratonin and oxytocin and increases the production of bio chemicals like cortisol and adrenalin.

So for someone who has been in this mode for a long period of time, there is a very low supply of seratonin in the system. Hence, even if a random "happy making " event does come by, it will be quite difficult to actually feel happy at that time. To feel happy we need to have seratonin in our body. Without it, no event can activate that happy feeling.

However, there is a second source of happiness. This is Self-referred happiness.
Self-referred happiness is an ever present stream of happiness that is unerodable and resides inside of you. It isn't dependant on events or occurrences. It is self-sufficient, internal happiness that stands free of the realm of relativity.

It is experienced by regular, daily contact with the Unbounded state of silence within.

When we still the mind, we still the body. This triggers a biochemical shift in the body. The brain realises it no longer needs to produce fight/flight biochemicals like cortisol and adrenalin and starts to produce seratonin and oxytocin. Through regular, twice daily, 20 minute Stillness Sessions, one eventually is saturated in these biochemicals, and an ever present happiness and lovingness is experienced.

Self-referred happiness is liberation from neediness. It frees one of the "need" for events to occur to feel good. By stilling the mind in Stillness Sessions, we connect with an ocean of bliss that is our essential state. Bliss and Love are our core qualities.

When we are That, we are free.