Who’s Helping Who?

Reach out to receive help, allows other to use their gifts!

Facing the tough economic times of today requires a certain tenacity and sense of hope. While we are experiencing layoffs, seeing closed storefronts and living the reality of cutting back on expenses, we are also in times of great economic opportunity.

Many dreams are being called to the fore to fill the current void. This is a powerful time of creativity and innovation. Studies show entrepreneurs are seeing the opportunity and they are taking the leap. While the energy of creating a dream is powerful and exciting it also masks realities that are tough to face.

While an entrepreneur might have all the skills to DO the work of his dream business, paint, build, heal, create…do they have the skills to run the business aspect? The marketing, financial, relationship and operational skills of running a business are often elusive to a new business owner. Additionally, many new business owners often underestimate the emotion of starting a business and these emotions often cloud good judgment.

Making decisions where to invest in a business are some of the toughest decisions a business owner will make. Weighing the options and making rational decisions as where the right resources should be invested at any different stage of the business requires the business owner to be fully willing to look at themselves and the business honestly.

Keeping focused on the reality of business as you keep your eye on the possibilities and the growth of the company requires honesty and the ability to look at things objectively. Reaching out to find perspectives from others is difficult for most business owners. Admitting they do not know it all tests their humility and forces them to be honest with them selves and teams. Many do not and business fail each day.

Most recently suicides and attempts are up drastically. Like other times in history pressures are too much for us to handle alone. Suicide notes mention the pressures of the current financial environment, like they did in the Great Depression.

We have huge populations of people believing in the "Dream" and yet do not have the humility to ask for help to create it. Wheels get put into motion to begin to allow it to happen, yet the truth is, most people DO need support in order to create, plan and execute any meaningful effort.

As a business coach, every day I witness individuals and business owners swirl in struggle rather than reach out for help. The stigma of asking for support has somehow become greater than the power of the dream. Frustrated by this phenonomena, I delved into understanding the cycle of help. I found shocking and inspiring information.

Our American notion of independence has paralyzed our ability to reach out beyond ourselves and ask for simple guidance on things such as setting up a budget, dealing with day-to-day stress and managing critical relationships inside the home and business.

We have set up a culture that asking for help is for "those people". Ya know the ones we have all of these charitable organizations supporting. The people who have fallen of the edge. Yet if all the people who were "on the edge" would reach out for support, our communities and economy would not struggle as much.

While researched for my book, Who's Helping Who?, which will be released this spring, I interviewed over 150 people from all walks of life. The workbook explores the cycle of help and how giving and receiving must be approached in a balanced way. The research clearly revealed our ability to receive is as critical an asset as it is to give and is a factor in personal success. Those who were most successful, had mastered the ability to ask for help be it from a professional or a friend at the right stage. Many spoke of the investment into their lives, business and relationships hinged on self-respect, love and self worth.

During the interviews the one word that came up in every interview was WORTHINESS.
I had asked three initial questions of every person I spoke with.
1. Who do you give help to?
2. Where do you ask for help from?
3. What is the hardest thing you have had to ask for help with?

These three questions created amazing conversations, yet the worthiness topic prevailed. Similar statements came up over and over.
1. Are the people who ask for help worthy of receiving it?
2. Am I worthy to receive the help I need?

This powerful emotion of worthiness informs our decisions to give help and receive help. As we move through our lives day to day, we are often faced with our own worthiness as we work to have rich and fulfilling lives. Seeing ourselves as worthy of being invested in requires a level of self-esteem that comes from being in healthy balanced relationships with friends, family and professionals. Professional support comes from sources such as coaches, ministers, financial advisors and health practitioners.

To bring this home…What might change as a result of YOU asking for help? What support does your business need right now? What area needs investment? Take the step to ask and I know, your life and business will evolve. Go for it!
Florence Haridan, owner of Gathering Coaching Consultancy, is a certified coach, author and motivational speaker. Gathering runs a FREE monthly event BUSINESS VOICES to help professionals grow. For more information visit gathe
ow.com