“Why are We Disconnecting from Our Feelings”

One famous psychologist the other day said, “Americas are becoming more and more hostile, you see it all over”. Why is this happening?

All of this started with people getting angry in the 60’s and doing lots of drugs and then it worked up into the 70’s… and then in the 80’s people started getting even angrier. And now we have road rage, people threatening people, lots of violence, people lashing out online… people are out of control.

Why is this Happening?

In some cultures, it’s normal to cry, to laugh, to go inward, and be connected to feelings and they are very close to their parents.

But studies in the United States show that lots of people have never had any kind of close relationship with their mother or father. And our parents emulate how we deal with our emotions. And because people don’t connect with their parents in a loving way… they don’t know how to connect to their feelings.

True Story - The Forgotten Child

Take, for instance, the true story of a young woman who grew up in an abusive household where her mother was hooked on drugs and neglected her daughter. Her stepfather was hooked on drugs and he was an angry man who was beaten by his father, and now he sexually abuses his daughter. Thus this little girl never knew what it was like to be loved, to be held, to be cared for by anyone.

And this little girl grew up unconsciously angry about life. Oh, she didn’t know she was angry at all… but deep down inside she was… and she was so numb. She didn’t want to have feelings because of all the pain she held deep down inside.

But in the background, there was a huge feeling of emptiness. And to fill that emptiness she would have lots of sex, do drugs, and get angry. Thus this whole process of anger is passed from one generation to the other.

What Can We Do?

The process of transformation is a long and varied. This process is one of forgiveness for everyone including ourselves, one of learning to love the one we see in the mirror, one of letting go of the past, moving on, and one of changing our ways of thinking from anger to love.

This process includes psychotherapy, transformation workshops, meditation, releasing emotions through certain types of yoga and massage, having a spiritual path to follow, and having spiritual rituals and ways of being that guide our life.

The transformative path that a person follows in order to find emotional freedom varies. It depends on the person, each will find his or her own path. Sometimes with the help of friends, a person who cares, or a mentor who’s willing to help, a pastor, or someone who is willing to make a difference.

Eventually, that person will make their way to the top of the mountain and breathe easy. This healing path can take years… but it’s worth it… and the whole process hinges on forgiveness and love… this is the answer to all of it.

If you need help on your journey… I am here to help… all of my consults are FREE.

Many Blessings My Friend

Dr. Paul Haider