Your Most Important Business Relationship

“I feel like giving up. Throwing in the towel. This business thing is really, really hard.” Large pregnant pause. You could feel the silence building like the prelude to a hurricane. My coach said, “If you treated your husband like you treat your business – always pulling the rug out, throwing your hands up in disgust, ready to walk out at the drop of a hat – what do you think would happen?” My turn for the chasm of silence to fill the room. “Well I guess we'd get a divorce eventually. Who wants to live under that cloud of uncertainty?” The thunderbolt struck, the clouds parted, and a chorus of angelic squirrels bleated in perfect harmony. “Oh my godfather. And that's why business is so hard. There's no commitment. There's no vows. There's no honouring, loving, treating with respect, willingness to grow, patience, nurturing.” I got it. I was playing the tease with my business. Sometimes hot, sometimes cold. How can you gain trust and traction with that kind of tension? Short answer: you can't. Your business, like any other relationship, needs trust, commitment, an ocean of love, and a willingness to grow and adapt with each other. Your business is one of the most intimate things you will engage in. It is the full expression of your inner being, the physical evidence of your creative power, the manifestation of your passion and purpose in the world. You can't treat it like a two-bit tart and expect to get Big Love in return. If you were to imagine your business as a person right now, how would you describe your relationship with it? Hot, passionate, in love, exciting? A comfortable and distant friendship? Or a solid, trusting, reliable, and creative partnership that constantly delivers rewards and allows for creative discovery together? Is it a burden, a worry and a stress or enriching, enlivening, and invigorating? If your relationship with your Business, call her Betty, is less than fabulous, here's what you can do to shift things back on happy trails.

1. Appreciate the wazoo out of Betty's current state. If she's flabby, love her for being lush. If she's skinny and all bones, love her for being there for you. Assure her you'll pay better attention and make sure she's properly attended to. If she's lazy and sluggish, let her know that together you can find the buzz and spark again.
2. Celebrate Betty's achievements. Sometimes you can forget how much Betty actually does for you, day to day. Seriously, as humans we get more excited about our dog not pooping on the carpet or 'sitting' when being told to sit than when our business delivers something juicy, or gives us the opportunity to be creative in the world. Little things count as much as big things – every day.
3. Hold the image of Betty as fully self-actualised in your mind's eye. Holding the image of Betty in her highest incarnation not only inspires you, but it reminds you that all things grow, have a compulsion to fulfil a bigger vision. Small child into beautiful wise woman; acorn into oak tree. Love and nurture the little Betty at the same time as you look forward to experiencing the fully evolved version of Betty.

And don't forget the other key relationship in business – the one you have with yourself. More on that one later. In the meantime, make love not war with your lovely Betty.